Miserere Nobis

Experiences from a Gay Life

Here some experiences and observations I've made during my many years in, with and around the (male) gay scene - and some conclusions I've drawn:

Impulsive behavior seems to be rampant. If men want sex, they are going to get it NOW.

In order to get the sex partners, moral restrictions are often low. It does not matter if he is a married family father (that seems to be even more attractive), if he has a partner or whatever else.

Partnerships are hardly ever monogamous and longterm. This is (officially) not being seen as something bad - even though most men still seem to dream of "Prince Charming" (that will most likely never come).

Gay bars and gay dating sites seem to be nothing more than "meat markets".

Even though some would object, I'd still claim that partners are exchangeable. Partnerships are not focused on a "you", but rather an "I". The other partner is seen and needed to fulfill all of my sexual, emotional, relational and psychological needs - something nobody can really do (that's maybe why they are always on the lookout if the gra

ss is greener elsewhere).

Mental disorders seem to be much more common among gay men than among their straight counterparts. That is not necessarily due to discrimination by society, but rather to a different (not worse!) mental design.

Victim mentality is high and so is self-pity. Not that the men are aware of it. However, they are constantly complaining about their childhood, society, their family, their partners, their job, their lives. Taking over full responsibility for themselves seems not really common.

Their political views are rather radical and narrow minded. Everybody has to accept the way they live their lives, else he or she is homophobic, retarded, mentally challenged, or radical. In one word: Somebody that has conservative views. That seems to be a rather childlike view - like many other behaviors and attitudes seem to be childlike or immature.

Self-destructive behavior (like sex withouth protection or with many partners, even in Corona times or extreme sexual practices) and drug abuse seem to be higher than in the rest of the population.

There is no solidarity in the gay scene. It seems to be all about "me, myself and I".

It all seems to turn around "being happpy" (with "happiness" being a feeling than comes and goes rather than a wilful life-decision) - and yet so many of them seem to be deeply sad on the inside.

Again: These are my personal observations and conclusions. They are not meant to put anybody down. On the contrary - I am in no way different. I have been there and even bought the t-shirt. I love those men from the bottom of my heart and wonder why this is the case. Maybe someone has an idea?

Rob

Is there a "gay lifestyle" ?

Many people would answer that this is a homophobic invention. Gays live there lives in many different ways, as straight folks do.

So is it completely non-appropriate to talk of a "gay lifestyle"?

Let's take a closer look at what Wikipedia has to say:

"Lifestyle is the interests, opinions, behaviours, and behavioural orientations of an individual, group, or culture. The term was introduced by Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler with the meaning of "a person's basic character as established early in childhood", for example in his 1929 book "The Case of Miss R.". The broader sense of lifestyle as a "way or style of living" has been documented since 1961. Lifestyle is a combination of determining intangible or tangible factors. Tangible factors relate specifically to demographic variables, i.e. an individual's demographic profile, whereas intangible factors concern the psychological aspects of an individual such as personal values, preferences, and outlooks.

A rural environment has different lifestyles compared to an urban metropolis. Location is important even within an urban scope. The nature of the neighborhood in which a person resides affects the set of lifestyles available to that person due to differences between various neighborhoods' degrees of affluence and proximity to natural and cultural environments. (...)

A lifestyle typically reflects an individual's attitudes, way of life, values, or world view. Therefore, a lifestyle is a means of forging a sense of self and to create cultural symbols that resonate with personal identity. Not all aspects of a lifestyle are voluntary. Surrounding social and technical systems can constrain the lifestyle choices available to the individual and the symbols she/he is able to project to others and the self.

The lines between personal identity and the everyday doings that signal a particular lifestyle become blurred in modern society. For example, "green lifestyle" means holding beliefs and engaging in activities that consume fewer resources and produce less harmful waste (i.e. a smaller ecological footprint), and deriving a sense of self from holding these beliefs and engaging in these activities. Some commentators argue that, in modernity, the cornerstone of lifestyle construction is consumption behavior, which offers the possibility to create and further individualize the self with different products or services that signal different ways of life.

Lifestyle may include views on politics, religion, health, intimacy, and more. All of these aspects play a role in shaping someone's lifestyle. In the magazine th, and television industries, "lifestyle" is used to describe a category of publications or programs." (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifestyle_(sociology) September 7th 2019)

Are there common interests, opinions, behaviors, and behavioral orientations in the gay scene? Anyone who has ever been there would definitely agree. There is a special way of talking, of celebrating, a different way of dressing up, different interests and values than compared to the rest of the population (yes, there will always be some who drop out of this classification, but on the average this might be a true statement). I have been there for many years and from my experiences I can definitely agree.

My "lifestyle" and that of many others I encountered reflected our attitudes, our way of lives and world views - no doubt about that. The environment we were living in also constrained our lifestyle choices. I could absolutely agree on that one as well. And yes, my views on politics, religion, health and intimacy were shaped by it as well and formed what you might call a "lifestyle" that I shared with many others then.

So all in all there is a "gay lifestyle".

The question is rather why so many gays are annoyed by this term? I guess they want to present an image to the public that makes them look like an ordinary John Doe, just like everyone else. But they are not! Gay activists use that as a propaganda technique - being well aware that the reality is way different. If I'd still be in the gay life, I would be more than happy to embrace a "gay lifestyle" - probably even be proud of it. Could it be that the gay self-confidence and self-assurance is so low it needs to look like everyone else and is ticked off by being called "gay"?

Recently, I communicated with gay men in online dating sites (not that I recommend that!). My impression? The more things change, the more they stay the same. Nothing much seems to have change since I left 15 years ago. Just take a look at the CSD-parades each year and tell me there is no "gay lifestyle"! To claim there is not is ridiculous and every gay person knows it.

I am ever so glad I left the environment that shaped my life back then. The way I live my life now does not fit any category and I am more than happy about that.

Robert

LGBT culture

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

LGBT culture is a culture shared by lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and queer individuals (and may also include less known identities, such as pansexual). It is sometimes referred to as queer culture (indicating people who are queer), while the term gay culture may be used to mean "LGBT culture" or to refer specifically to homosexual culture.

LGBT culture varies widely by geography and the identity of the participants. Elements common to cultures of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and intersex people include:

Works by famous gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, including:

Contemporary LGBT artists and political figures

Historical figures identified as LGBT, although identifying historical figures with modern terms for sexual identity is controversial (see History of sexuality). However, many LGBT people feel a kinship with these people and their work (particularly that addressing same-sex attraction or gender identity); an example is VictoryFund.org, dedicated to supporting homosexual politicians.

An understanding of LGBT social movements

Figures and identities present in the LGBT community; within LGBT communities in Western culture, this might include drag kings and queens, pride parades and the rainbow flag.

Not all LGBT people identify with LGBT culture; this may be due to geographic distance, unawareness of the subculture's existence, fear of social stigma or a preference for remaining unidentified with sexuality- or gender-based subcultures or communities. The Queercore and Gay Shame movements critique what they see as the commercialization and self-imposed "ghettoization" of LGBT culture.[4][5]

In some cities, especially in North America, some LGBT people live in neighborhoods with a high proportion of gay residents, otherwise known as gay villages or gayborhoods, examples of this neighborhoods are Castro and West Hollywood in California, United States or Gay Village in Montreal, Canada. Such LGBT communities organize special events in addition to pride parades celebrating their culture such as the Gay Games and Southern Decadence.

Gay male culture

According to Herdt, "homosexuality" was the main term used until the late 1950s and early 1960s; after that, a new "gay" culture emerged. "This new gay culture increasingly marks a full spectrum of social life: not only same-sex desires but gay selves, gay neighbors, and gay social practices that are distinctive of our affluent, postindustrial society".[6]

During the 19th and early 20th centuries, gay culture was covert, relying on secret symbols and codes woven into an overall straight context. Gay influence in early America was primarily limited to high culture. The association of gay men with opera, ballet, couture, fine cuisine, musical theater, the Golden Age of Hollywood and interior design began with wealthy homosexual men using the straight themes of these media to send their own signals. In the heterocentric Marilyn Monroe film Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, a musical number features Jane Russell singing "Anyone Here for Love" in a gym while muscled men dance around her. The men's costumes were designed by a man, the dance was choreographed by a man and the dancers (as gay screenwriter Paul Rudnick points out) "seem more interested in each other than in Russell"; however, her presence gets the sequence past the censors and works it into an overall heterocentric theme.[7]

After the 1969 Stonewall riots in New York City, gay male culture was publicly acknowledged for the first time. A group of seven gay men formed The Violet Quill in 1980 in New York City, a literary club focused on writing about the gay experience as a normal plotline instead of a "naughty" sideline in a mostly straight story. An example is the novel A Boy's Own Story by Edmund White. In this first volume of a trilogy, White writes as a young homophilic narrator growing up with a corrupt and remote father. The young man learns bad habits from his straight father, applying them to his gay existence.

Female celebrities such as Liza Minnelli, Jane Fonda, and Bette Midler spent a significant amount of their social time with urban gay men (who were now popularly viewed as sophisticated and stylish by the jet set), and more male celebrities (such as Andy Warhol) were open about their relationships. Such openness was still limited to the largest and most progressive urban areas (such as New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston, Philadelphia, Seattle, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Miami, Washington, D.C., and New Orleans), however, until AIDS forced several popular celebrities out of the closet due to their illness with what was known at first as the "gay cancer".[8]

Elements identified more closely with gay men than with other groups include:

Pop-culture gay icons who have had a traditionally gay-male following (for example, disco, Britney Spears, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Judy Garland, Cher, Lady Gaga, Kesha, Kylie Minogue, and Diana Ross)

Familiarity with aspects of romantic, sexual and social life common among gay men (for example, Polari, poppers, camp, fag hags and—in South Asian LGBTQ+ culture—"evening people")[9]

There are a number of subcultures within gay male culture, such as bears and chubbies. There are also subcultures with an historically large gay-male population, such as leather and SM. Gay critic Michael Musto opined, "I am a harsh critic of the gay community because I feel that when I first came out I thought I would be entering a world of nonconformity and individuality and, au contraire, it turned out to be a world of clones in a certain way. I also hated the whole body fascism thing that took over the gays for a long time."[10]

Relationships

Some U.S. studies have found that the majority of gay male couples are in monogamous relationships. Research by Colleen Hoffon of 566 gay male couples from the San Francisco Bay Area funded by the National Institute of Mental Health found that 45 percent were in monogamous relationships. Gay actor Neil Patrick Harris has remarked, "I'm a big proponent of monogamous relationships regardless of sexuality, and I'm proud of how the nation is steering toward that."[11]

During the 1980s and 1990s, Sean Martin drew a comic strip (Doc and Raider) which featured a gay couple living in (or near) Toronto's Gay Village. His characters have recently been updated and moved to the Web. Although primarily humorous, the comic sometimes addressed issues such as gay-bashing, HIV, and spousal abuse.

An Australian study conducted by Roffee and Waling in 2016 discovered how some gay men felt like they were expected to be hyper-sexual. Participants reported how other gay men would automatically assume that any interaction had sexual motivations. Furthermore, if it was then clarified that this is not the case then these gay men would suddenly feel excluded and ignored by the other gay men with which they had been interacting with. They felt that they could not obtain purely platonic friendships with other gay men. One participant reported feeling alienated and disregarded as a person if they were not deemed by other gay men as sexually attractive. This presumption and attitude of hypersexuality is damaging, for it enforces preconceived ideals upon people, who are then ostracised if they do not meet these ideals.[12]

Online culture and communities

A number of online social websites for gay men have been established. Initially, these concentrated on sexual contact or titillation; typically, users were afforded a profile page, access to other members' pages, member-to-member messaging and instant-message chat. Smaller, more densely connected websites concentrating on social networking without a focus on sexual contact have been established. Some forbid all explicit sexual content; others do not.[13] A gay-oriented retail online couponing site has also been established.[14]

Recent research suggests that gay men primarily make sense of familial and religious challenges by developing online peer supports (i.e., families of choice) in contrast to their family allies' focus on strengthening existing family of origin relationships via online information exchanges. Participants' reported online sociorelational benefits largely contradict recent research indicating that online use may lead to negative mental health outcomes.[15]

LGBT fashion

Giorgio Armani, Kenneth Nicholson, Alessandro Trincone, Ludovic de Saint Sernin, Patrick Church, Daddy Couture, Gianni Versace, Prabal Gurung, Michael Kors and others are among the LGBT fashion designers across the globe.[16]

Lesbian culture

As with gay men, lesbian culture includes elements from the larger LGBTQ+ culture, as well as other elements specific to the lesbian community. Primarily associated with lesbians in North America, Europe, Australia, and New Zealand, they include large, predominantly lesbian events such as the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival[17] (closed after 2015) and the Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend.[18][19] Lesbian culture has its own icons, such as Melissa Etheridge, k.d. lang (butch), Ellen DeGeneres (androgynous) and Portia de Rossi (femme). Lesbian culture since the late 20th century has been entwined with the evolution of feminism. Lesbian separatism is an example of a lesbian theory and practice identifying specifically lesbian interests and ideas and promoting a specific lesbian culture.[20][21][22] Examples of this included womyn's land and women's music.

Older stereotypes of lesbian women stressed a dichotomy between "butch" women, or dykes (who present masculine) and "femmes", or lipstick lesbians (who present feminine), and considered a stereotypical lesbian couple a butch-femme pair. While some lesbian women are still either "butch" or "femme," these categories are less definite (and common) as lesbianism becomes normalized. Androgyny, while not new in lesbian culture, has been gaining momentum since the 1980s punk scene through youth subcultures such as grunge, riot grrrl, emo, and most recently hipster.[23]

Bisexual culture

Tricolor flag: wide horizontal pink and blue bars surrounding a narrower lavender bar

Bisexual pride flag

Bisexual culture emphasizes opposition to, or disregard of, fixed sexual and gender identity monosexism (discrimination against bisexual, fluid, pansexual and queer-identified people), bisexual erasure and biphobia (hatred or mistrust of non-monosexual people). Biphobia is common (although lessening) in the gay, lesbian and straight communities.[citation needed][24]

Many bisexual, fluid and pansexual people consider themselves to be part of the LGBTQ+ or queer community, despite any discrimination they may face. Western bisexual, pansexual, and fluid cultures also have their own touchstones, such as the books Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out (edited by Lani Ka'ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins),[25] Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution (by Shiri Eisner), and Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World (edited by Robyn Ochs);[26] the British science fiction television series Torchwood and personalities (such as British singer and activist Tom Robinson,[27] The Black Eyed Peas member Fergie, Scottish actor Alan Cumming and American performance artist and activist Lady Gaga.[27][citation needed]

The bisexual pride flag was designed by Michael Page in 1998 to give the community its own symbol, comparable to the gay pride flag of the mainstream LGBTQ+ community. The deep pink (or rose) stripe at the top of the flag represents same-gender attraction; the royal blue stripe at the bottom of the flag represents different-gender attraction. The stripes overlap in the central fifth of the flag to form a deep shade of lavender (or purple), representing attraction anywhere along the gender spectrum.[28] Celebrate Bisexuality Day has been observed on September 23 by members of the bisexual community and its allies since 1999.[29][30]

Transgender culture

Flag with five horizontal bars: white in center, surrounded by pink, surrounded by light blue

Transgender pride flag

The study of transgender and transsexual culture is complicated by the many ways in which cultures deal with sexual identity/sexual orientation and gender. For example, in many cultures people who are attracted to people of the same sex—that is, those who in contemporary Western culture would identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual—are classed as a third gender with people who would (in the West) be classified as transgender.

In the contemporary West there are different groups of transgender and transsexual people, such as groups for transsexual people who want sex reassignment surgery, male, heterosexual-only cross-dressers and Trans men's groups. Groups encompassing all transgender people, both trans men, trans women, and non-binary people, have appeared in recent years.

Some transgender or transsexual women and men, however, do not identify as part of a specific "trans" culture. A distinction may be made between transgender and transsexual people who make their past known to others and those who wish to live according to their gender identity and not reveal their past (believing that they should be able to live normally in their true gender role, and control to whom they reveal their past).[31]

According to a study done by the Williams Institute of UCLA on "How Many Adults Identify as Transgender in the United States?",[32] they found that younger adults are more likely to identify as transgender than older adults. This may be a result of a newly wider acceptance of transgender people from the communities, allowing for those who identify as transgender to have a greater voice. In their research they found that an estimated 0.7% of adults between the ages of 18 and 24 identify as transgender, while 0.6% of adults age 25 to 64 and 0.5% of adults age 65 or older identify as transgender.

The pink on the transgender pride flag represents female while the baby blue on the flag represents male. The white stripe in between the baby blue and pink represents other genders besides male or female.[33]

Transgender relationships

In the report "Views from both sides of the bridge? Gender, sexual legitimacy, and transgender people's experiences of relationships", authors Iantaffi and Bockting conducted a study with 1229 transgender individuals over 18 years old, to learn more about transgender relationships in the US. When it came to a relationships within a transgender person, it depended on if they wanted a heteronormative or mainstream culture relationship. The results from the study showed that transgender people reinforced the idea of heteronormativity, seen in their gender practices and beliefs. Although, there are also transgender people that are set on a path to challenge Western traditional beliefs in gender roles and sexual differences within relationships.[34]

Events

First trans solidarity rally and march, Washington, DC USA (2015)

Many annual events are observed by the transgender community. One of the most widely observed is the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) which is held every year on November 20 in honor of Rita Hester, who was killed on November 28, 1998, in an anti-transgender hate crime. TDOR serves a number of purposes:

it memorializes all of those who have been victims of hate crimes and prejudice

it raises awareness about hate crimes towards the transgender community

and it honors the dead and their relatives[35]

Another of these events is the Trans March, a series of annual marches, protests or gatherings that take place around the world, often during the time of the local pride week. These events are frequently organized by transgender communities to build community, address human rights struggles, and create visibility.

Youth culture

Youth pride, an extension of the gay pride and LGBTQ+ social movements, promotes equality amongst young members (usually above the age of consent) of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual or transgender, intersex and questioning (LGBTQ+) community.[36] The movement exists in many countries and focuses on festivals and parades, enabling many LGBTQ+ youth to network, communicate, and celebrate their gender and sexual identities.[36] Youth Pride organizers also point to the value in building community and supporting young people, since they are more likely to be bullied.[37] Schools with a gay-straight alliance (GSA) handle discrimination and violence against LGBTQ+ youth better than schools without it; they develop community and coping skills, and give students a safe space to obtain health and safety information.[38] Sometimes the groups avoid labeling young people, preferring to let them identify themselves on their own terms "when they feel safe".[39]

Gay and lesbian youth have increased risks for suicide, substance abuse, school problems and isolation because of a "hostile and condemning environment, verbal and physical abuse, rejection and isolation from family and peers", according to a U.S. Task Force on Youth Suicide report.[40] Further, LGBTQ+ youths are more likely to report psychological and physical abuse by parents or caretakers, and more sexual abuse.

Suggested reasons for this disparity are:

youths may be specifically targeted on the basis of their perceived sexual orientation or gender non-conforming appearance.

"...Risk factors associated with sexual minority status, including discrimination, invisibility, and rejection by family members...may lead to an increase in behaviors that are associated with risk for victimization, such as substance abuse, sex with multiple partners, or running away from home as a teenager."[41]

A 2008 study showed a correlation between the degree of parental rejection of LGB adolescents and negative health problems in the teenagers studied.[42] Crisis centers in larger cities and information sites on the Internet have arisen to help youth and adults.[43] A suicide-prevention helpline for LGBT youth is part of The Trevor Project, established by the filmmakers after the 1998 HBO telecast of the Academy Award-winning short film Trevor; Daniel Radcliffe donated a large sum to the group, and has appeared in its public service announcements condemning homophobia.[44]

Increasing mainstream acceptance of the LGBTQ+ communities prompted the Massachusetts Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth to begin an annual Gay-Straight Youth Pride observance in 1995.[36][45] In 1997 the nonprofit Youth Pride Alliance, a coalition of 25 youth-support and advocacy groups, was founded to hold an annual youth-pride event in Washington, D.C.;[46] Candace Gingrich was a speaker the following year.[47] In 1999, the first annual Vermont Youth Pride Day was held. As of 2009 it is the largest queer and allied-youth event in Vermont, organized by Outright Vermont to "break the geographic and social barriers gay youngsters living in rural communities face."[48] In 2002, a college fair was added to the event to connect students with colleges and discuss student safety.[49] In April 2003 a Youth Pride Chorus, organized with New York's LGBT Community Center, began rehearsals and later performed at a June Carnegie Hall Pride concert with the New York City Gay Men's Chorus.[50]

In 2004 the San Diego chapter of Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) worked with San Diego Youth Pride coordinators to organize a Day of Silence throughout the county.[51] In 2005, Decatur (Georgia) Youth Pride participated in a counter-demonstration against Westboro Baptist Church (led by church head Fred Phelps' daughter Shirley Phelps-Roper), who were "greeting students and faculty as they arrived with words such as 'God hates fag enablers' and 'Thank God for 9/11'" at ten locations.[52] In 2008 Chicago's Youth Pride Center, primarily serving "LGBT youth of color", opened a temporary location and planned to move into their new building on Chicago's South Side in 2010.[53] In 2009, the Utah Pride Center held an event to coincide with Youth Pride Walk 2009, a "cross-country walk by two Utah women trying to draw attention to the problems faced by homeless LGBT youth".[54] In August 2010 the first Hollywood Youth Pride was held, focusing on the "large number of homeless LGBT youth living on Los Angeles streets."[55] According to a 2007 report, "Of the estimated 1.6 million homeless American youth, between 20 and 40 percent identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender".[56] At larger pride parades and festivals there are often LGBTQ+ or queer youth contingents, and some festivals designate safe spaces for young people.[57][58]

LGBT youth are more likely to be homeless than cisgender youth due to the rejection from their parents because of their sexual orientation, or gender identity (Choi et al., 2015; Durso and Gates, 2012; Mallon, 1992 ; Whitbeck et al., 2004). Out of the 1.6 million homeless people in the united states, forty percent of them identify as part of the LGBT community.[59] In a survey of street outreach programs 7% of the youth were transgender (Whitbeck, Lazoritz, Crawford, & Hautala, 2014). Many of the transgender youth that are placed in homeless shelters do not get the type of help they need and often experience discrimination and systemic barriers that include sex-segregated programs in institutional practices that refuse to understand their gender. Many transgender youths have problems acquiring shelters because of certain policies like binary gender rules, dress codes, and room assignments (Thaler et al., 2009). Problems with classification happen when the procedures or policies of a shelter require the youth to be segregated based on their assigned sex rather than what they classify themselves as. As a result, many of the LGBT youth end up on the street instead of shelters which are meant to protect them.[60]

LGBT youth also have a higher suicide rate in the U.S. Those who identify with the LGBT community are four times as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not.[61] There was a study that was done to look into the difference of rates between gay high school students and their straight peers. They were asked about their sexual orientation and then about suicide. They found that about 32 percent of sexual minorities (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual) had suicidal thoughts in comparison to almost 9.5 percent of their heterosexual peers.[61]

Other LGBT groups

Several other segments of the LGBTQ+ community have their own communities and cultures, including the deaf queer community.[62]

Bigender

Bigender people are those who switch between two gender identities or combine two gender identities. There are different types of bigenderism which include historical, transitional, concurrent, and sequential:

"Historical bigenderism" is someone who was once a male, but is now a female, or someone who was once a female, and is now male. Any transgender person who went through sex reassignment surgery is included in this subcategory of bigenderism.

"Transitional bigenderism" refers to somebody who is going through a constant but time limited transition from male to female or vice versa.

"Concurrent bigenderism" is someone who is not apparently female or male, but is a mix of both. There are people today who prefer not to be identified as a male or female but rather be in an alternative category, such as “boi” (Nestle, Howell, & Wilchins, 2002).

"Sequential bigenderism" is someone whose self-portrayal is at time female, and at other times male. Cross-dressers who do not wish to pursue gender reassignment can also be categorized as sequential bigender.[63]

Queer Woman of Color

Race, gender, and class can shape the representation and politics of the queer movement and queer identities, the journal article “Thinking Outside the Rainbow: Women of Color Redefining Queer Politics and Identity,” take a deeper focus within the queer representation of specifically Latina and Asian/Pacific Islander women. According to the data collected by Alimahomed, queer women of color are a form of invisible queer subjects, such as outsiders-within, and would be considered marginalized in today's LGBT movement. With the study conducting interviews with 25 queer women, many of these women experienced gender stereotypes as a problem to express themselves as queer, or make new queer expressions. It was hard for them to be visible to their white counterparts, due to them not having recognizable white queer forms of expression, so they would be considered inauthentic queers to the white community. Despite the contrasting group, women of color and those under comparable marginalization, were among the majority of protestors at stonewall. Also, female white queers get accepted easier than women of color, due to that they can be seen as foreign or conservative because of their culture.[64]

Criticism

Criticism of LGBTQ+ culture comes from a variety of sources. Some, like Michael Musto, view the culture as conforming to caricatures or stereotypes that alienate "fringe" members of the community. Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore and movements like Gay Shame have argued that LGBT culture has been depoliticized by a tiny minority of relatively privileged queer people, who participate in "institutions of oppression" at the expense of the vast majority of LGBT people.[65] Some consider the very notion of "separatism", or a group lifestyle, alienating (including of LGBTQ+ members in the broader society).[citation needed]

Another problem is that bisexual and transsexual/transgender individuals experience social pressure to identify as gay or lesbian, and may face ostracism and discrimination from the mainstream LGBTQ+ culture. For bisexuals, this pressure is known as bisexual erasure. New York University School of Law professor Kenji Yoshino has written, "Gays de-legitimatize bisexuals...the lesbian and gay community abounds with negative images of bisexuals as fence-sitters, traitors, cop-outs, closet cases, people whose primary goal in life is to retain 'heterosexual privilege'".[66]

Although some groups or individuals may disapprove of LGBT rights based on religion or social conservatism, the themes of criticism mentioned below may not necessarily imply disapproval of LGBT people or homosexuality by itself.

Capitalism and commodification

In many parts of the globe, political groups have arisen to denounce pink capitalism, the incorporation of the LGBTQ+ movement and sexual diversity into capitalism and the market economy, especially as this incorporation pertains to the gay, cisgender, western, white, and upper middle class communities and markets.[67][68][69][70][71][72][73][74][75][76] Protests against the commodification of LGBTQ+ rights have often taken the form of queer or pink blocs within LGBTQ+ Pride Parades.[77][78][79][80][81][82][83][84]

In Spain, especially since the emergence of the anti-austerity movement, various groups have held independent demonstrations demanding the removal of political and economic interests from discussions of sexual identity and gay rights.

Identity politics

Criticism has been made that the LGBTQ+ community represents an artificial separation, rather than one based on tangible customs or ethnic identification. In particular, labels that LGBTQ+ members use to describe themselves vary widely; some simply prefer to identify as loving a particular gender. Some believe that the LGBTQ+-community concept is alienating; the term itself implies estrangement from straight people as a separate group. Further, including three groups involved with sexuality and one group exploring transsexual/transgender identity (a broader phenomenon) is artificial.[85]

Mattilda Berstein Sycamore argues that the single-issue focus of LGBT politics, which ignores all intra-group differences, has naturally led to a movement and culture focused on the needs of white, middle-class gay cisgender men, which alienates anyone who does not fit that description.[65]

Cultural focus on promiscuity

Some gay male commentators who are in monogamous relationships argue that mainstream gay culture's disdain of monogamy and its promotion of promiscuity has harmed efforts to legalize same-sex marriage.[86] Yuvraj Joshi argues that efforts to legalize same-sex marriage have emphasized the sameness of gay people to heterosexuals, while privatizing their queer differences.[87]

Racism

British journalist Mark Simpson's 1996 book, Anti-Gay, describes forms of intolerance by the mainstream gay community towards subgroups. The Times wrote that Simpson succeeded in "pointing out that oppression and prejudice do not become legitimate just because they happen to be practiced by the previously oppressed". Aiden Shaw of Time Out New York wrote that "Thank fucking God someone did this, because...whatever happened to our individuality, our differences?" Other commentators harshly criticized Simpson's argument, with Boyz declaring that "Simpson is a cunt."[88]

Discrimination

In the journal article "Denied Citizens of Turkey: Experiences of Discrimination Among LGBT Individuals in Employment, Housing and Health Care", authors Yılmaz and Göçmen describe the experiences of discrimination in the LGBT community. From their findings collected from 14 focus group interviews within 139 LGBT volunteers, they found that like in any other country, there is discrimination within LGBT sub-groups. For example, through employment they found that LGBTs have limited job opportunities, and deal with discrimination in the workplace. In housing they have restricted options on to what they can buy or were demanded to change their residence, and if they could buy something, they were faced with discrimination in terms of pricing. In medical treatment, the medical system was not quick to the needs of LGBTs, or they were either denied medical treatment or were ashamed to ask for medical treatment due to the discrimination they could face. They claimed that transgender people are the most disadvantaged through all these fields.[89]

Chauvinism

The researcher in gender studies Jasbir K. Puar notes that some political powers have lined themselves up with the cause of the LGBTQ+ community in order to justify racist and xenophobic positions, especially against Islam. These positions are purportedly based on prejudices that migrant people are necessarily homophobic and that western society is entirely egalitarian.[90][91][92] Thus, sexual diversity and LGBT rights are used to sustain political stances against immigration, being increasingly common among far-right parties.[93][94][95]

LGBT Culture in The Military

In 2010, the repeal of the Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT)[96] was a great step in the inclusion of lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals in the military. “The repeal of DADT reversed the practice of discharging LGB service members on the basis of sexual identity.” Although this was a large shift in policy by the U.S. for those identifying as LGB, those who are transgender are still not fully included in this change.

Some challenges that transgender people face post-DADT are “changing their name to align with their gender identity, changing their sex designation in official documentation and records, encouraging appropriate pronoun use, and obtaining appropriate medical services” (Levy et al., 2015; Parco et al., 2015a, 2015b).[97]

Another challenge that they face is Transphobia which is “the intense dislike of prejudice against transsexual or transgender people” (Hill & Willoughby).

Gay Pride Parade

Gay Pride Parades show initiation of the LGBT community to embrace their culture and are considered one of the 'new social movements' that originated in the 1960s (Stammers, 2009, p 147).[98] For the LGBT community, The Pride Parades all around the world collectively use spatial articulation to address political and human rights claims. These parades give LGBT members the opportunity to raise awareness to their needs on a large stage and also allows them to celebrate their pride in their community and how far they have come.

“In this regard, gay pride parades represent the most significant event in which public space, considered to be 'heterosexual' by default (Valentine, 1993), is temporarily 'queered'. This temporary subversion of the spatial organisation represents a crucial moment of intense cultural creation.”

Participating in these events gives members of the LGBT community a chance to display their pride and share that experience with others who feel the same way.

On June 19, 1989, during Philadelphia's lesbian and gay pride parade, City Council member Angel Ortiz said, “Lesbians and gays come in all nationalities and in all colors. People don't want to hide away anymore. People want to be who they are, to be left alone for who they are and to celebrate who they are.”[99]

References

1) Julia Goicichea (August 16, 2017). "Why New York City Is a Major Destination for LGBT Travelers". The Culture Trip. Retrieved February 2, 2019.

2) Eli Rosenberg (June 24, 2016). "Stonewall Inn Named National Monument, a First for the Gay Rights Movement". The New York Times. Retrieved June 25, 2016.

3) "Workforce Diversity The Stonewall Inn, National Historic Landmark National Register Number: 99000562". National Park Service, U.S. Department of the Interior. Retrieved April 21, 2016.

4) du Pleissis, Michael; Chapman, Kathleen (February 1997). "Queercore: The distinct identities of subculture". College Literature. ISSN 0093-3139. Archived from the original on October 17, 2007. Retrieved June 21, 2007.

5) "Gay Shame: A Celebration of Resistance". Archived from the original on January 13, 2013. Retrieved August 18, 2009.

6) Herdt, Gilbert, ed. (1992). Gay Culture in America: Essays from the Field. Boston, Massachusetts: Beacon Press. ISBN 978-0807079157.

7) "Archived copy". Archived from the original on 2010-02-02. Retrieved 2009-09-24.

8) "Timeline: 25 Milestones in Our Time With AIDS | TheBody". www.thebody.com.

9) Ratti, Rakesh (Ed.) (1993). Lotus Of Another Color: An Unfolding of the South Asian Gay and Lesbian Experience. Alyson Books Boston MA

10) Interview with Michael Musto, David Shankbone, Wikinews, October 7, 2007.

11) "Neil Patrick Harris On Gay Marriage, Monogamy & Anderson Cooper". NBC New York.

12) Roffee, James A. (2016). "James Roffee & Andrea Waling Rethinking microaggressions and anti-social behaviour against LGBTIQ+ Youth". Safer Communities. 15 (4): 190–201. doi:10.1108/SC-02-2016-0004.

13) Veneziani, Vince (October 11, 2006). "Eight Social Networking Sites for Men Who Love Men".

Techcrunch. Retrieved December 17, 2012.

14) Hannah Seligson (June 19, 2011). "A Daily Deal Site Aimed Squarely at Gay Men". New York Times. Retrieved December 17, 2012.

15) Etengoff, C. & Daiute, C. (2015). Online Coming Out Communications between Gay Men and their Religious Family Allies: A Family of Choice and Origin Perspective, Journal of GLBT Family Studies.

16) "Has Queerness Found Its Place In High Fashion?". refinery29.com. Retrieved 2019-06-08.

17) Lo, Malinda Behind the Scenes at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival Archived 2008-08-13 at the Wayback Machine April 20, 2005 AfterEllen

18) [1] Ficera, Kim Don't Quote Me: Dinah Shore Weekend Archived 2008-03-26 at the Wayback Machine February 22, 2006 AfterEllen

19) Downs, Maggie Dinah Shore events part of celebration that began with a round of golf March 28, 2010 The Desert Sun

20) Bunch, Charlotte/The Furies Collective, Lesbians in Revolt, in The Furies: Lesbian/Feminist Monthly, vol.1, January 1972, pp.8-9

21) Hoagland articulates a distinction (originally noted by lesbian separatist author and anthologist Julia Penelope) between a lesbian subculture and a lesbian community; membership in the subculture being "defined in negative terms by an external, hostile culture", and membership in the community being based on "the values we believe we can enact here." Hoagland, Sarah Lucia. Lesbian Ethics: Towards a New Value, Institute for Lesbian Studies, Palo Alto, Ca.

22) Tallen, Bette S. Lesbian Separatism: A Historical and Comparative Perspective, in For Lesbians Only: A Separatist Anthology, Onlywomen Press, 1988, ISBN 0-906500-28-1, p141

23) Phoenix, Katrina (2010-03-24). "Why Lesbians Won't Give Up the Hipster". AutoStraddle. The Excitant Group, LLC. Retrieved 27 February 2015.

24) Welzer-Lang, Daniel (2008). "Speaking Out Loud About Bisexuality: Biphobia in the Gay and Lesbian Community". Journal of Bisexuality. 8 (1–2): 81–95. doi:10.1080/15299710802142259.

25) "25 Years of Bi Life". www.advocate.com. 2015-09-25. Retrieved 2019-01-28.

26) "These signs will help you figure out if you are bisexual". Gay Star News. 2018-01-29. Retrieved 2019-01-28.

27) "LOUD & PROUD: 8 Gay Musical Milestones". HuffPost UK. 2016-04-19. Retrieved 2019-01-28.

28) Page, Michael. "History of the Bi Pride Flag". Archived from the original on November 20, 2012. Retrieved December 17, 2012.

29) Day celebrates bisexuality, dispels myths. The Michigan Daily. Archived May 9, 2008, at the Wayback Machine

30) Bi Community Celebrates. Bay Windows; 9/25/2003, Vol. 21 Issue 41, p3-3, 1/4p

31) Anneliese A. Singh; Danica G. Hays; Laurel S. Watson (January 1, 2011). "Strength in the Face of Adversity: Resilience Strategies of Transgender Individuals". Journal of Counseling & Development. Archived from the original on June 11, 2014. Retrieved December 17, 2012. – via HighBeam Research (subscription required)

32) Flores, Herman, Gates, Brown, Andrew R., Jody L., Gary J., Taylor N.T. (June 2016). "How Many Adults Identify as Transgender in the United States?" (PDF). The Williams Institute.

33) Barrios, Barclay (2004). "Journals at the LMU William H. Hannon Library". Computers and Composition. 21 (3): 341–361. doi:10.1016/j.compcom.2004.05.003.

34) Iantaffi, Alex; Bockting, Walter O. (2011-03-01). "Views from both sides of the bridge? Gender, sexual legitimacy and transgender people's experiences of relationships". Culture, Health & Sexuality. 13 (3): 355–370. doi:10.1080/13691058.2010.537770. ISSN 1369-1058. PMC 3076785. PMID 21229422.

35) "About TDOR at Transgender Day of Remembrance". Transgenderdor.org. 1998-11-28. Archived from the original on 2011-07-23. Retrieved 2011-07-06.

36) Lisa Neff, "Pride by Many Other Names: Whether it's a Dyke March, Black Gay Pride, or a Youth Rally, Gay Men and Lesbians are Finding New Ways to Celebrate Their Diversity". pages 50-55, The Advocate, June 25, 2002.

37) Bockenek, et al, pages 49-53.

38) Bockenek, et al, pages 110-115.

39) Steph McKenna, "Diversity spotlight: Youth Pride Inc.", The Providence Journal, August 22, 2010.

40) Gibson, P. (1989). "Gay and Lesbian Youth Suicide". In Fenleib, Marcia R. (ed.). Report of the Secretary's Task Force on Youth Suicide. United States Government Printing Office. ISBN 978-0-16-002508-2.

41) Balsam, Kimberly F.; Esther D. Rothblum (June 2005). "Victimization Over the Life Span: A Comparison of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Siblings" (PDF). Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 73 (3): 477–487. CiteSeerX 10.1.1.705.9685. doi:10.1037/0022-006x.73.3.477. PMID 15982145.

42) Ryan, Caitlin; David Huebner; Rafael M. Diaz; Jorge Sanchez (January 2009). "Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young Adults". Pediatrics. 123 (1): 346–352. doi:10.1542/peds.2007-3524. PMID 19117902.

43) Caruso, Kevin. "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Suicide". Suicide.org. Retrieved 2007-05-04.

44) "Daniel Radcliffe to appear in anti-homophobia ad: Daniel Radcliffe will appear in a public service announcement to condemn homophobia." Pink News, March 1, 2010.

45) Ethan Jacobs, "Mitt Romney's secret gay history!", Bay Windows, March 3, 2005.

46) "Dyer Appointed as District LGBTQ+ Director", District Chronicles, September 9, 2007.

47) "Gingrich to speak at Gay Youth Pride Day", press release at Salon.com

48) "Youth gay, lesbian event set for city", Rutland Herald, May 1, 2009.

49) Steve Desroches, "The Want You: A College Fair in Boston Helps Connect Gay and Lesbian Students With Schools Who Want Them On Campus" page 36, The Advocate, Sept. 3, 2002.

50) Smith Galtney, "All Together Now: A New Chorus for GLBTQI Youth Prepares a Holiday Concert in New York", page 50, Out, December 2003.

51) Travis D. Bone, "San Diego schools observe Day of Silence: National event aims to make schools safer", Gay & Lesbian Times, April 15, 2004.

52) Terri Blackwell, Carolyn Mathews and Melissa Winder, "Groups chant their opinions at 10 protests", White County News Telegraph, March 10, 2005.

53) "LGBTQ+ Chicago Year in Review", Windy City Times, December 29, 2007.

54) "Utah Pride Center hosts LGBT homeless youth event", Associated Press, 8 July 2009.

55) Steve La, "Hollywood Youth Pride Hopes To Help Young People In L.A.", LA Weekly, August 23, 2010.

56) Nicholas Ray, Colby Berger, Susan Boyle, Mary Jo Callan, Mia White, Grace McCelland, Theresa Nolan, "Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth: An epidemic of homelessness", National Gay And Lesbian Task Force, National Coalition for The Homeless, January 30, 2007.

57) S.D. Liddick, "A Church Divided", San Diego Magazine, pages 109-113, June 2005.

58) Inside Pride, San Francisco Pride Guide, pages, pages 40-42, June 2010.

59) Seaton, Jaimie. "Homeless rates for LGBT teens are alarming, but parents can make a difference". chicagotribune.com. Retrieved 2019-03-02.

60) Shelton, Jama (December 2015). "Transgender youth homelessness: Understanding programmatic barriers through the lens of cisgenderism". Children and Youth Services Review. 59: 10–18. doi:10.1016/j.childyouth.2015.10.006.

61) Duncan, Dustin T.; Hatzenbuehler, Mark L. (February 2014). "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Hate Crimes and Suicidality Among a Population-Based Sample of Sexual-Minority Adolescents in Boston". American Journal of Public Health. 104 (2): 272–278. doi:10.2105/ajph.2013.301424. ISSN 0090-0036. PMC 3935714.

62) "About the Deaf Queer Resource Center". Archived from the original on December 18, 2012. Retrieved December 18, 2012.

63) Blechner, Mark J. (2015-07-03). "Bigenderism and Bisexuality". Contemporary Psychoanalysis. 51 (3): 503–522. doi:10.1080/00107530.2015.1060406. ISSN 0010-7530.

64) Alimahomed, Sabrina (2010-03-01). "Thinking outside the rainbow: women of color redefining queer politics and identity". Social Identities. 16 (2): 151–168. doi:10.1080/13504631003688849. ISSN 1350-4630.

65) Sycamore, Mattilda Bernstein. ""Transgender Troops" Should Be an Oxymoron". Truthout.

66) Yoshino, Kenji (2000). The epistemic contract of bisexual erasure. Stanford Law Review, 53(2), P. 399

67) Resisting the Rise of Pink Capitalism. Archived 2016-03-02 at the Wayback Machine Morning Star. 25 June 2015.

68) Lily, Shangay (2016). Adiós Chueca. Memorias del gaypitalismo: la creación de la marca gay (in Spanish). Foca. ISBN 978-84-945283-3-0.

69) (in Spanish) Capitalismo Rosa. Fefa Vila. Asociación Lesbianas Gays Transexuales y Bisexuales. 10 July 2015.

70) (in Spanish) Capitalismo Rosa. David Molina. Asociación Lesbianas Gays Transexuales y Bisexuales. 10 July 2015.

71) (in Spanish) Capitalismo Rosa. Josué González. Asociación Lesbianas Gays Transexuales y Bisexuales. 10 July 2015.

72) (in Spanish) Capitalismo rosa. TVE. 2007.

73) "El capitalismo o la vida". Transfeminismos. Epistemes, fricciones y flujos (in Spanish). Txalaparta. 2013. pp. 89–174. ISBN 978-84-1531366-3.

74) (in Spanish) Tres debates sobre la homonormativización de las identidades gay y lesbiana. Asparkía. Investigación Feminista. 2015.

75) Vélez-Pelligrini, Laurentino (2008). "Los dilemas del Gaybusiness: mercado, consumo e identidad". Minorías sexuales y sociología de la diferencia (in Spanish). Ediciones de Intervención cultural. ISBN 978-84-96831-76-6.

76) (in Spanish) De Macondo a McOndo. Senderos de la postmodernidad latinoamericana. Diana Palaversich. Plaza y Valdés Editores. 2005.

77) Radical Queers. A Pop Culture Assessment of Montréal's Anti-Capitalist Ass Pirates, the Panthères roses, and Lesbians on Ecstasy. Canadian Woman Studies/Les cahiers de la femme. 2005.

78) (in French) Les Panthères roses de Montréal Archived 2017-02-02 at the Wayback Machine. Collectif de Recherche sur l'Autonomie Collective. 2010.

79) Pride For Profit: Are Corporations Cashing In On Seattle Pride? Archived 2015-08-19 at the Wayback Machine The Capitol Hill Times. 27 June 2012.

80) The commodification of Pride. Slaney Street. 25 May 2014.

81) The Business of Pride: The Problem with Pink Capitalism. Odyssey. 7 June 2016.

82) (in Spanish) Queer: Otro término de identidad de género. Radio Canadá Internacional. 19 June 2016.

83) Too straight, white and corporate: why some queer people are skipping SF Pride. The Guardian. 25 June 2016.

84) LGBT Night March decries Pride's corporate sponsorship. The Star. 28 de junio de 2016.

85) Prosser, J (1998) Second Skins: The Body Narratives of Transsexuality. New York: Columbia University Press p. 59

86) "Gay Groups Ignore Monogamy when Promoting Marriage". June 20, 2008.

87) Joshi, Yuvraj (May 2012). "Respectable Queerness" (PDF). 43 (2). Columbia Human Rights Law Review: 415–467. Archived from the original (PDF) on 2012-05-23.

88) "Archived copy". Archived from the original on 2011-09-27. Retrieved 2011-10-23.

89) Yılmaz, Volkan; Göçmen, İpek (2016-09-01). "Denied Citizens of Turkey: Experiences of Discrimination

Among LGBT Individuals in Employment, Housing and Health Care". Gender, Work & Organization. 23 (5): 470–488. doi:10.1111/gwao.12122. ISSN 1468-0432.

90) Puar, Jasbir K. (2007). Terrorist Assemblages: Homonationalism in Queer Times. Duke University Press. p. 83. ISBN 978-0-8223-4094-2.

91) Homonationalism, Heteronationalism and LGBTI Rights in the EU. Public Seminar. 31 August 2016.

92) In America, Muslims Are More Likely to Support Gay Marriage Than Evangelical Christians. Reason. 13 June 2016

93) The Men Who Would Be Queen: France, Le Pen & The LGBT Vote. Pride Life. 7 June 2016.

94) (in Spanish) El ascenso de la extrema derecha en Europa, en clave LGTB. Dos manzanas. 2 June 2014.

95) (in French) Homo et d'extrême droite: qu'est-ce que «l'homonationalisme»? Le Monde. 22 December 2014.

96) Alford, Brandon and Shawna J (July 2016). "Toward Complete Inclusion: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Military Service Members After Repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell". Social Work. 61 (3): 257–265. doi:10.1093/sw/sww033.

97) Levy, D. A., Parco, J. E., & Spears, S. R. (2015). "Purple in a black and white world: Self-determination theory and transgender military service". Journal of Basic and Applied Sciences. 11: 359–369.

doi:10.6000/1927-5129.2015.11.52.

98) Ammaturo, Francesca Romana (January 2016). "Spaces of Pride: A Visual Ethnography of Gay Pride Parades in Italy and the United Kingdom". Social Movement Studies. 15 (1): 19–40. doi:10.1080/14742837.2015.1060156.

99) Mehta, Shilpa. “Philly Celebrates Gay/Lesbian Pride.” Philadelphia Gay News 23–29 June 1989, Vol. 13, No. 34: Pages 1 & 17. Print (from William Way Center).

Further reading

Bockenek, Michael, A. Widney Brown, "Hatred in the hallways: violence and discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered students in U.S. schools", Human Rights Watch, 2001, ISBN 1-56432-259-9, ISBN 978-1-56432-259-3.

(Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_culture September 6th, 2019)

“People who always want to be happy and pursue it above all else are some of the most miserable people in the world.”

― Henry Cloud, Boundaries in Marriage

Zwei schwule Männer beschreiben ihren Lebensstil wie folgt: "Viele Psychologen, Soziologen und gelehrte Menschen haben ausführlich geschrieben über die Einsamkeit der Menschen in der heutigen unpersönlichen und mechanisierten Welt voller nutzloser Sachen, Technologien und wissenschaftlichem Management. Der Homosexuelle ist vielleicht noch mehr alleine wegen seiner Homosexualität. (...) Er denkt, dass er noch verzweifelter jemand braucht, mit dem er sein Leben teilt ? wegen seines erhöhten Bedürfnisses nach Kommunikation mit Gleichgesinnten, sodass er sich nicht so alleine fühlen muss. Als Ergebnis davon sucht er eifrig nach dem Idealtypen, der - so denkt er - dem Problem und seiner Suche ein Ende setzen wird. Er ist vielleicht kein Trinker, aber er geht in Gay Bars, cruist in den Strassen und taucht ab und zu an Orten auf, wo sich Homosexuelle treffen, immer auf der suche nach diesem Traumprinzen. Jedes sexuelle Erlebnis wird hoffentlich das "wahre" sein, aber für gewöhnlich sind zahlreiche kurzlebige Affairen das Ergebnis. Zeit geht vorüber. Jahre gehen vorbei. Die Attraktivität der Jugend schwindet dahin. Die Muskeln werden schwabblig. Er bekommt immer mehr graue Haare. Langsam fallen sie ihm aus. Die Affairen gehen weiter. Je älter der Mann wird, desto härter muss er daran arbeiten, andere zu überreden, Interesse an ihm zu finden. Wenn das fehl schlägt, kommt es zur Verzweiflung im Alter, die nur durch den unvermeidlichen Tod endet." (Donald Webster Cory and John P. LeRoy, The Homosexual and His Society: A View From Within)

Beschreibung des homosexuellen Lebensstils in San Francisco, geschrieben von einem homosexuellen Reporter: "Die schwule Sexszene wurde immer unpersönlicher. Zuerst hat man mit jemand geschlafen, die ganze Nacht gekuschelt und geredet und morgens Omelettes gegessen. Dann wurde das Frühstück weggelassen - wie viele Omelettes kann man schon machen, bis es langweilig wird? Dann ist man nicht mehr über Nacht geblieben. In den Saunas schließlich musste man nicht einmal mehr reden. Clubs mit "Glory Holes" und "Cornholes" kamen als nächstes in Mode. Dort musstest du noch nicht einmal den Menschen ansehen, mit dem du Sex hattest.? (Randy Shilts, And The Band Played On)

Homosexualität hat für viele von uns Schande, Verstecken, das Vorgaukeln einer falschen Identität und Täuschung bedeutet. Manche von uns waren sogar stolz auf ihre Fähigkeit, etwas verborgen zu halten und unsere Gefühle zu verstecken ? um alleine durch?s Leben zu gehen. All das erlaubte es uns, weiter zu leugnen. Es brachte uns in die Lage, uns selbst zu überzeugen, dass wir niemals die Konsequenzen unserer Handlungen erleben müssten. Es hat uns sogar soweit gebracht, dass wir ernsthaft glaubten, es würde niemals Konsequenzen geben.

Irgendwann kam dann die Zeit, wo wir die zerstörerischen Konsequenzen unseres Lebensstils nicht mehr länger vor uns selbst verbergen konnten. Wir wurden verletzt und wir verletzten Andere ? und das oft im Namen der Liebe. Das Verstecken vergrößerte nur unsere Isolation und zerstörte unser Selbstbewusstsein. Uns wurde klar, dass die Geheimnisse, die wir hatten, uns von der Freiheit abhielten, die zu finden wir schließlich als notwendig erkannt hatten.

Wenn wir jemals heilen sollten, bräuchten wir bedingungslose Liebe. Unser Doppelleben machte aber das Empfangen solch einer Liebe unmöglich.Um diese Art von Liebe zu erfahren, mussten wir uns selbst mit all unseren Fehlern vor Gott, uns selbst und Anderen offenbaren.

Unsere moralische Bestandsaufnahme hat uns die Dinge beigebracht, die wir zu beichten hatten. Wir fangen mit Gott an, weil Er Liebe ist (siehe 1 Johannes 4:16) und sich verpflichtet hat, all denen zu vergeben und sie von der Sünde weiß zu waschen, die Ihm ihre Sünden beichten (siehe 1 Johannes 1:9).

Unser Annehmen von Gottes Vergebung gibt uns die Kraft, uns selbst in einem völlig neuen Licht zu sehen. Uns Seiner Vergebung bewusst zu sein ermöglicht es uns, uns selbst zu vergeben. Uns Seiner Annahme bewusst zu sein ermöglicht es uns, uns selbst anzunehmen.

Gay Life?

Schwuler Lebensstil?

Vorab: so etwas wie einen schwulen Lebensstil gibt es nicht. Homosexuelle sind genauso unterschiedlich hinsichtlich ihres Aussehens und der Art und Weise, wie sie ihr Leben führen, wie andere Menschen. Vielleicht sind es einfach nur bestimmte Typen von Homosexuellen, die uns besonders auffallen und von denen wir aus Rückschlüsse auf andere schließen.

Nicht jeder homosexuelle Mann muss weibliches Verhalten oder Aussehen an den Tag legen und nicht jede homosexuelle Frau muss besonders männlich auftreten.

Die meisten Homosexuellen fallen uns überhaupt nicht auf, weil sie einfach sind wie alle anderen Menschen.

Homosexuelle, die ihre Neigungen nicht ausleben möchten und Freiheit suchen, versuchen nun oft, ihr Verhalten, Aussehen usw. dem der anderen Männer (bzw. Frauen) anzugleichen - genauso auszusehen, sich genauso zu verhalten und den gleichen Lebensstil zu haben wie "gesunde" Heterosexuelle.

Umgekehrt wird es oft auch von diesen Homosexuellen auf dem Genesungsweg geradezu verlangt. Da hört mann dann Kommentare wie: "Der weiße Anzug, den du da anhast, war vielleicht dein Geschmack, als du noch schwul warst, aber ein heterosexueller Mann trägt so etwas nicht. Du solltest das jetzt nicht mehr anziehen!".

Und so versuchen wir es: wir kleiden uns wie die anderen, benehmen uns wie sie usw.

Nun ist dies im Ansatz zwar richtig: es gibt sehr viele Verhaltensweisen und sehr vieles an unserem Aussehen, an der Art und Weise, wie wir unsere Wohnung einrichten, an unserer Freizeitgestaltung, Sprache, Gestik, Mimik etc., das noch aus unserer homosexuellen Zeit kommt und das wir sehr wohl ablegen sollten. Ebenso sollten wir als Christinnen und Christen nicht so viel Wert auf Äußerlichkeiten und weltliche Dinge legen.

Es macht aber keinen Sinn, versuchen zu wollen, andere zu kopieren - oder das von uns zu verlangen, weil man denkt, die eigene Lebensweise sei die ideale - schließlich ist man selbst ja nicht homosexuell. Dahinter steckt eine sehr verzerrte Auffassung vom individuellen Ausdruck der Persönlichkeit.

Auch während und nach der Therapie werden wir immer "anders" sein - und daran ist nichts Schlechtes!

Wir haben andere Talente, andere von Gott gegebene Gaben und wir empfinden anders. Jeder von uns hat eine andere Persönlichkeit. Eine eigene, individuelle Persönlichkeit. Und die ist keineswegs schlechter oder minderwertiger als die von Menschen ohne gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen!

Es ist also - in gewissem Rahmen - absolut in Ordnung "anders" zu sein! Anders auszusehen und einen anderen Geschmack zu haben!

Natürlich sehen wir anders aus und leben vielleicht in gewisser Weise auch anders - weil wir anders sind!

Wir sollten also daran arbeiten, ungesundes Verhalten abzulegen - ohne dabei jedoch unsere eigene Persönlichkeit zu verlieren oder verleugnen!

Aber Gott liebt uns doch alle!

Gerade ihr als Christen solltet doch wissen, dass Gott uns alle liebt!

Tun wir. Auch wenn manche unter uns oft noch Schwierigkeiten haben, an die Liebe Gottes zu glauben - angesichts der Verfehlungen, die sie sich geleistet haben. Aber so ist Gott: wenn wir bekennen, bereuen und uns ändern, vergibt Er uns. Er liebt uns so sehr, dass Er Seinen Sohn hingegeben hat, um für UNS zu sterben!

Was mit derartigen Statements aber oft unterschwellig zum Ausdruck kommt: Gott liebt uns, egal was wir tun. Wir können weitermachen wie bisher, tun und lassen, was wir wollen - Gott liebt uns. Alles ist gut.

Eine Schwester in Christus sage mir einmal: "Wenn wir sündigen ist, das so, als würden wir Christus anspucken. Er ist für uns gestorben und ließ sich ans Kreuz schlagen - und wir spucken auf Ihn!".

Da steckt eine Menge Wahrheit drin.

Gott liebt uns, soviel ist sicher. Aber lieben wir Ihn genauso? Entgegen weitläufiger Meinung ist Gott durchaus auch ein Gott, der gefürchtet werden will. Gerade weil Er uns liebt, hat Er uns mehrmals ausdrücklich davor gewarnt, uns von Ihm abzuwenden und ein Leben zu führen, das nicht Seinen Grundsätzen entspricht. Er hat uns aber auch die freie Wahl gelassen. Wir können uns für oder gegen Ihn entscheiden. Wie auch immer unsere Wahl ausfallen wird, sie hat Konsequenzen. Trotz oder gerade wegen der Liebe Gottes.

Jesus hat uns gesagt, dass das Tor zum Himmel eng ist und der Weg beschwerlich. Nur wenige werden ihn gehen - die meisten wählen das breite Tor, zu dem ein weitaus bequemerer Weg führt. Er hat uns nie versprochen, dass es leicht wird - Er hat nur gesagt, dass es sich lohnen würde.

Gott liebt uns. Das ist aber für uns kein Frei-Ticket für ein Verhalten frei nach Lust und Laune, nach dem Motto: Gott liebt uns trotzdem, egal, was wir tun. Uns wird schon nichts geschehen.

Wenn man sich da mal nicht irrt.

Wer Homosexualität mit Alkoholismus oder Drogenkonsum vergleicht, beleidigt Homosexuelle!

Es ist eine Unterstellung, zu behaupten, wir würden Homosexualität auf einer Ebene wie Alkoholismus und Drogenkonsum sehen, wie es mit dieser Aussage angedeutet wird.

Wir nehmen uns aber das Recht, diverse Argumente von Homosexuellen anhand von Beispielen konsequent weiter zu führen sowie aus unserer Erfahrung sowie aus der Erfahrung von vielen anderen zu berichten.

Wer etwa behauptet, ein Verhalten oder eine Veranlagung sei alleine deshalb schon "moralisch akzeptabel", weil es möglicherweise genetische Voraussetzungen gibt, die es dem Betroffenen leichter machen, Derartiges zu entwickeln, muss sich auch gefallen lassen, dass man diese Argumentation auch auf andere Fälle ausdehnt. Hiermit lässt sich schnell zeigen, zu welchen Absurditäten dies führen kann.

Aus unseren eigenen Erfahrungen in der Szene und aus unserem eigenen Leben können wir außerdem durchaus bezeugen, dass Alkohol- und Drogenkonsum sehr wohl ein Thema waren. Dass ein konsequent zügelloser Lebensstil auch in anderen Bereichen Auswirkungen hat.

Selbstverständlich ist die Art und Weise, wie Homosexuelle ihr Leben führen, nicht bei allen gleich. Uns ist aber wichtig, bestimmte Aspekte aufzuzeigen, die im allgemeinen Lobpreis des homosexuellen Lebens schnell untergehen.

Und dies sei uns zugestanden.

Traurigkeit und Hypersensibilität

Das emotionale Innenleben von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen war und ist ja schon oft Gegenstand leidenschaftlicher Diskussionen, Untersuchungen und Studien gewesen.

Die einen behaupten, Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen seien von Natur aus etwas sensibler als andere, sehen also deren Veranlagung als genetisch begründet.

Andere machen das exzessive schwule Leben mit verantwortlich für emotionale und psychische Probleme.

Wieder andere schieben alles auf die Unterdrückung und Diskriminierung durch die Gesellschaft.

Dann gibt es noch die, die darauf verweisen, dass es sehr wohl umweltbedingte Faktoren und auf die Lebensweise zurückzuführende Probleme gibt, diese aber auch ihre Spuren in der Hirnstruktur hinterlassen (kurz: ihrer Meinung nach waren diverse Synapsen verstärkt, was es den Betroffenen eventuell leichter macht, sich künftig ähnlich zu verhalten. Dies ist jedoch keine medizinische Information meinerseits! Für Auskünfte hierzu bitte an einen Facharzt wenden).

Das Ganze hört sich manchmal so an wie die Diskussion, was zuerst da war: die Henne oder das Ei.

Bei vielen dürften wohl genetische Veranlagungen eine tragende Rolle spielen. Dies ist aber nicht zu verwechseln mit "Weicheiern". Ja, viele mögen sensibler als der Durchschnittsmensch sein und sehen dies auch selbst oft als Plage, zumal sie möglicherweise deshalb auch gehänselt und verspottet wurden oder auch noch werden. Wie in so vielem anderen auch ist es hier beinahe lebenswichtig, zu der Einsicht zu komme, dass man vielleicht anders - also "sensibler" - ist als andere und deshalb auch entsprechende Vorkehrungen treffen muss, um emotional und psychisch gesund zu bleiben. Enorm wichtig aber auch, zu verstehen, dass der eigene emotionale Empfangspegel vielleicht weitaus weiter aufgedreht ist als bei Otto Normalverbraucher, dies jedoch nichts mit Bewertungen wie "gut" oder "schlecht" zu tun hat. Kurz gesagt heißt das ganz einfach, dass solche Menschen Emotionen wie Angst, Freude, Traurigkeit usw. weitaus früher und intensiver empfinden können als der durchschnittliche Mitbürger. Das ist durchaus nichts Negatives es kann auch als besondere Begabung gesehen werden. Männer, die so empfinden, sind keineswegs weniger "Mann" deshalb. Sie sind schlichtweg anders als andere Männer.

Selbstverständlich kommt es auch vor, dass Menschen, die sensibler sind als andere, gehänselt werden und es im Alltag oft sehr schwer haben. Dies ist natürlich abzulehnen, hat aber grundsätzlich nicht unbedingt und zwangsweise etwas mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen im besonderen zu tun, sondern tritt allgemein auf. Leider gibt es aber Menschen, die alles in einen Topf werfen und besonders sensible Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen (v.a. Männer) deshalb beschimpfen und verbal und/oder körperlich (möglicherweise auch sexuell) missbrauchen. Hiergegen aktiv vorzugehen sind wir alle gerufen.

Dass ein Leben in der schwulen Szene mit ständig wechselnden Sexualpartnern, extremen Sexualpraktiken, vielleicht auch erhöhtem Alkoholkonsum und ähnlichem, einer radikalen Veränderung des äußeren Erscheinungsbildes sowie der Art und Weise zu sprechen, der Mimik und Gestik, der regelmäßige Konsum von pornographischen Material und den Menschen, mit denen man Umgang hat, auch Auswirkungen auf die emotionale Verfassung eines Menschen hat, dürfte auch für Laien unschwer zu verstehen sein. Für Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, die so leben, ist das aber oft weniger leicht zu erkennen. Sie spüren sehr wohl de emotionalen Konsequenzen, bringen dies aber in der Regel nicht mit ihrer Lebensweise in Verbindung. Dieser Zusammenhang wird ihnen oft erst Jahre, nachdem sie dieses Leben hinter sich gelassen haben, bewusst - wenn sie mit dem nötigen Abstand auf ihr eigenes Leben zurückblicken.

Ein Aspekt, der gerade von Therapeuten wie Aardweg herausgearbeitet wird, ist das Selbstmitleid. Dies ist keinesfalls im umgangssprachlichen Sinn zu verstehen und herunterzuspielen. Dieses Selbstmitleid rührt aus frühester Kindheit. Ein Kind, dass sich nicht geliebt und gewollt fühlt (wohlgemerkt fühlt - hier kommt es nur auf die eigene Wahrnehmung, nicht aber auf "objektive" Tatsachen an. Es zählt also etwa nicht, ob der Vater den kleinen Sohn tatsächlich geliebt hat oder nicht, sondern alleine ob der Sohn sich geliebt fühlte), entwickelt eine Art emotionalen Schutzmechanismus zur "Selbstverteidigung".

Ich habe mal eine Art Dokumentation im TV gesehen, die ganz gut und drastisch vermittelte, was da wohl vorgegangen sein mag. Es wurde vorgeführt, wie ein kleines Baby auf menschliche Liebe und Zuneigung reagiert. Zunächst hielt man das Baby vor das Gesicht eines Erwachsenen, der allerdings weder durch Mimik, Gestik noch durch seine Stimme irgendwelche Emotionen zeigen durfte. Das Baby machte Laute, lachte, strahlte über das ganze Gesicht, streckte seine Ärmchen nach dem Erwachsenen aus. Der Kommentator im Hintergrund sagte, das Baby versuche so, den Erwachsenen zu einer liebevollen Reaktion zu bewegen. Der Erwachsene blieb jedoch regungslos. Der Kommentator meinte daraufhin, das Baby würde jedoch nicht aufhören, zu versuchen, diese Liebe vom Erwachsenen zu bekommen. Und so war es dann auch: Das Baby schien etwas verwirrt, versuchte aber immer weiter, den Erwachsenen zu irgendeiner Reaktion zu bewegen. Die Szene war wirklich herzzerreißend und das Experiment vor laufender Kamera wurde dann auch abgebrochen. Jedoch schildert dies sehr gut, was in der Kindheit so mancher Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen geschehen ist. Ein Junge etwa, der diese Liebe nicht vom Vater bekommt, sieht sich möglicherweise später nicht als zu der Welt der Männer zugehörig an. Auf jeden Fall könnte er einen emotionalen Schutzmechanismus - das "Selbstmitleid" - entwickeln. Er sieht sich gleichsam selbst von außen und tröstet sich selber, um so mit dem Mangel an Liebe und dem inneren Schmerz umzugehen. Dieser Mechanismus verselbstständigt sich jedoch im Laufe des Lebens, ohne dass der Betroffene sich dessen bewusst ist, und beeinträchtigt das gesamte weitere Leben, sofern dies nicht angegangen und derjenige sich dessen bewusst wird. Ein zügelloses Leben in der Schwulenszene mit extremen Sex und vielen Partnern, Drogen und in der Folge psychiatrischen Erkrankungen kann dann möglicherweise Ausdruck genau dessen sein.

Nun noch ein ganz anderer Aspekt, den gerade manche Männer mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen bezeugen können: Traurigkeit. Nicht Depression, auch nicht Melancholie, sondern eher eine Art Sehnsucht nach etwas Größerem, etwas, nach dem man sich unendlich sehnt und das man nicht hat. Etwas, das andere wahrscheinlich auch nicht nachvollziehen können und das man selbst auch schwer beschreiben kann. Manche vergleichen es mit der in uns verschüttet gegangenen Erinnerung an das durch den Sündenfall verlorene Paradies. Andere einfach mit der Leere in unseren Herzen, die nur von Gott gefüllt werden kann und die Menschen wie wir vielleicht weitaus tiefer empfinden. Eine Traurigkeit, die jeden Moment des Lebens empfunden wird.

Nicht-religiöse Menschen kommen damit wohl weitaus weniger zurecht und flüchten sich in alles mögliche, was Schmerzlinderung verspricht, ohne sich dessen bewusst zu sein.

All das sollte man auch im Gedächtnis behalten, wenn es darum geht, ein Leben in der Schwulenszene zu verlassen. All das, was man - zumeist unbewusst - getan hat, um diesen inneren Schmerz und diese unendliche Sehnsucht (die sich etwa auch in der Suche nach dem großen starken Mann, der einem Sicherheit gibt, äußern kann) zu betäuben, fällt nun auf einmal weg und man steht alleine und schutzlos mit diesem Schmerz da. Eine aktive, liebende und geduldige Unterstützung durch Freunde, Therapeuten, Geschwister im Glauben sowie der Familie ist hier unerlässlich.

Wenn man nun all das oben genannte berücksichtigt, sollte man doch erkennen, dass einfache Schuldzuweisungen wie die auf eine Diskriminierung der Gesellschaft zurückzuführende erhöhte Selbstmordrate bei Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, nicht haltbar sind. Selbst wenn der Prozentsatz der Suizide bei Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen höher sein sollte, sind hier weitaus mehr Faktoren zu berücksichtigen.

(P.S.: Nochmals der Hinweis: Ich bin kein Facharzt. Dies stellt meine persönliche Meinung dar, basiert alllerdings auf langjährigen eigenen Erfahrungen. Bei psychischen Problemen oder Fragen hierzu bitte zu einem Psychiater oder dergleichen gehen.)

Robert Gollwitzer

Wie könnt ihr den sagen, ein homosexuelles Leben sei falsch, wenn man dabei glücklich ist?

Wir bestreiten keineswegs, dass manche Menschen eine Form des "Glücklichseins" im Ausleben ihrer gleichgeschlechtlichen Empfindungen finden können - wenngleich dies keineswegs die Regel ist, wie so manche meinen mögen.

Für einen Christen ist "Glücklichsein" aber kein Kriterium von "moralisch akzeptabel" oder "moralisch inakzeptabel" - und man darf bezweifeln, dass dies ein Kriterium für irgendjemand sein kann.

Dies führt schnell zu einem "moralischen Relativismus": jeder bestimmt für sich alleine, was gut, wahr, richtig, moralisch und sittlich akzeptabel ist. Dies ist aber auch der Untergang jeder Gesellschaft - unabhängig vom religiösen Hintergrund.

Aus eigener Erfahrung können wir nur sagen, dass viele von uns das "Glück", das sie im Ausleben ihrer gleichgeschlechtlichen Empfindungen gesucht hatten, dort nicht gefunden haben. Ganz im Gegenteil - manch einer hat Feuer mit Benzin gelöscht und nach Liebe an den falschen Orten gesucht.

Wir laden jeden ein, doch dieses "Argument" einmal weiter zu führen und auf andere Bereiche auszudehnen. Wenn man von der Gültigkeit dieser Aussage ausgeht, warum sollte sie dann nicht für jeden Menschen gelten? Dies führt jedoch schnell zu unhaltbaren und absolut unakzeptablen Zuständen.

Als Christen stellen wir ein persönliches "Glücksgefühl" nicht über die Liebe zum Herrn. Auch ein verheirateter Familienvater kann mit einer anderen Frau durchbrennen und bis ans Ende seiner Tage mit ihr "glücklich" sein. Würde das seinen Ehebruch akzeptabler machen?

Wir denken nicht.

During his time as an actively gay and church-attending Christian, Joe Dallas always asked himself this question: "Am I basing my decision to embrace the 'gay and Christian` identity on the belief that this is God's will for my life...or on the hope that this is what God might allow?" ("The Gay Gospel? How Pro-Gay Advocates Misread the Bible" - Joe Dallas; Harvest House)

"Ich will endlich so sein, wie ich bin?"

Diesen Spruch hört man von vielen Schwulen. Nach langer "Selbstverleugnung" wäre nun der Damm gebrochen und sie könnten so sein, wie sie tatsächlich sind.

Wie aber sieht die Realität aus?

Kurz: Die Einzigen, die sie so nehmen, wie sie sind, sind wahrscheinlich die "Heteros". Die schwule Wirklichkeit - insbesondere für Männer - sieht anders aus.

Um auf dem "schwulen Fleischmarkt" Erfolg zu haben, versuchen viele, Stereotypen zu imitieren - oder verlangen dies von potentiellen Partnern. Das wird dann sogar als "Freiheit" von der bisherigen - tatsächlichen - Identität bezeichnet. So werden die Haare kurz geschoren, ein Holzfällerhemd und Jeans angezogen, man lässt sich einen Bart wachsen und meint dann, ein "richtiger" Mann zu sein. Je mehr man einer stereotypen Vorstellung eines "Hetero-Mannes" entspricht, desto besser. Das Problem dabei? Das ist eine Comic-Version von einem Mann. Mit wahrer Männlichkeit hat das aber schon gar nichts zu tun. Ein Bart und ein Holzfällerhemd machen einen mit Sicherheit nicht zum Mann. Vor allem aber verleugnet man damit sich selbst und fordert dies von anderen. "Freiheit" ist etwas anderes. Die Partner sind austauschbar und befriedigen im Grunde nur die eigenen Bedüfnisse und Wünsche. Irgendwann erledigt das Alter den Rest und ein Stereotyp lässt sich beim besten Willen nicht mehr konstruieren. Ich habe dies selbst getan und erfahren und ich habe es zur Genüge an anderen gesehen.

"Freiheit" ist das, was ich erleben durfte, nachdem ich die schwule Szene verlassen hatte. Endlich konnte ich mich dem Zwang des schwulen Fleischmarktes entziehen und so sein, wie ICH bin und sein will. Ich verlange von niemandem, dies zu mögen, ich werde mich aber bestimmt nicht mehr verleugnen, um jemand anderem zu gefallen. Er will dann nicht mich, sondern ein verzerrtes körperliches Bild von mir.

Besonders aber hat mich immer die Diskriminierung innerhalb der schwulen Szene geärgert und verletzt (wenn dies von Menschen kam, an denen mir was lag): wer nicht der schwulen Vorstellung eines Mannes entspricht, ist eine "Tunte" - und nichts ist schlimmer als das. Niemand will eine Tunte sein und distanziert sich davon, indem er andere als solche beschimpft. Die wahren "Tunten" stecken aber nicht selten in Holzfällerhemden.

Im Grunde ist das alles eine sehr tragische Entwicklung. Wer seine männliche Identität nie gefunden hat, jagt einer Fata Morgana nach, die dem entsprechen soll. Vor allem aber läuft er Männern hinterher, die diesem Trugbild am besten entsprechen. Hat er einen gefunden, bleibt er aber weiterhein auf der Suche, ob das Gras anderswo grüner ist. Nicht umsonst sind "Bären" so beliebt in der schwulen Szene, weil sie all die körperlichen Kriterien haben, die man als "männlich" vermutet: Dicker Bauch, behaart, kurze Haare, Bart, Holzfällerhemd, Jeans.

Die Einzigen, die mich so genommen haben, wie ich bin, waren "Heteros". Wo mich so mancher Schwuler beschimpft (oder aufgrund der Entsprechung mit dem "Ideal" als "geil" bezeichnet hat) hat, haben mir Heteros offen gesagt, was ihnen an mir gefällt.

"Freiheit" habe ich in der schwulen Szene nie gefunden. Sobald potentieller Sex meinerseits nicht mehr zur Verfügung stand, lösten sich schnell schwule "Freundschaften" auf. Ebensowenig selbstlose Liebe und Zuneigung und wahren Glauben.

Das mag politisch nicht korrekt sein, entspricht aber meinen Erfahrungen.

Robert

From Homosexuals Anonymous Online:

yes it does feel "great" at first (i.e. sex with another man) but then there are the thoughts the day after:

1) Did I get a disease?
2) Did I give him one? (Maybe I have a disease and don't know it yet)
3) Is he going to tell anyone? IF so, what will his side of the story be--- I raped him, I forced him, HE had to fight me off but I still wanted him.(Will he say that even if he approached me?)
4) If he gets a disease later (from someone else) will he come looking for me? Will he put my name in a newspaper for my family to see in order to find me?
5) Was he married? If so, does he have children? Does he have other sex partners?
6) If I see him in public what will I say or do, especially if he sees me with someone who does not know about my SSA struggles?
7) If he sees me in public with a friend that does not have SSA, but is still kind of cute, will he try to "pursue" my friend and force him into something?
8) Did he REALLY want to do it or was he too drunk to say no?
9) Did he REALLY want to do it or did he do it because he felt he had to because we were friends.
10)Did anyone else see us or if so what will they say?

ANOTHER THING IS IF YOU WERE HIS FIRST, WILL HE REMAIN DOING SSA EXPERIENCES BECAUSE YOU INTRODUCED HIM TO IT AND WILL HE SAY NO TO A STRAIGHT RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE BECAUSE HE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK

Guys,

I am currently doing "The Game Plan" with one of your brothers and he allowed me to publish his list with the 35 reasons why you should leave a homosexual life (or not go into it). As you know, that list serves as a motivation - reading it aloud every morning after Scripture reading and prayer.

So here we go:

1 One it hurts my wife

2 Hurt my kids

3 Have a criminal record - served one year probation

4 God does not approve of such behavior

5 Separates me from the love of God

6 Could get a serious diease

7 Lost my job teaching at the college

8 Could lose my current job if I go porn site

9 Live in denial and a scret life which is not healthy

10 It is not real, but a fantasy that ends in diaster.

11 no love for anyone - it is all about me.

12 lust is out to destory me

13 I cannot make a man love me.

14 True union is btwn a man and a woman

15 my life was out of control

16 hate one night stands

17 does not give me what I am looking for in a relationship

18 never satisfy looking for next big fix

19 in bondage to my false high

20 causes depression

21 causes isolation

22 want to live for Christ

23 lived in fear

24 not socially accepted

25 want to relate to men in a healthy way

26 destroys friendships

27 the chemical release is like a drug and i can't say no

28 cannot distinquist people motives if they real or not

29 not able to be honest

30 not able to trust

31 cripple my ability to be light and salt that the world needs

32 i am deliberatily putting my pleasure before God, wife and kids

33 i am polutting my mind and body

34 i am participating in the sort of evil i said i am against

35 i am not being the man i can be

Dear Group,

Here is my answer for the question. What SSA has stolen from my life. I am thankful God has restored some of this list back to my life. But it was all gone at one point or another.

1. Loss of right relationship with my earthly father.

2. Loss of right relationship with my brothers

3. Loss of marriage

4. Loss of kids and a heritage they might leave.

5. Financial chaos for many years

6. Drug problem

7. Drinking problem

8 Porn Addiction

9. Loss of income

10. Have to live in a rural area away from centers of commerce.

11. Mental condition/ My sanity left for a while

12. Living with STD... HIV.. have to take many pills the rest of my life.

13. Loss of right relationships with my peer group

14. Loss of post ion in my community

15. Loss of property I might own had I not been in chaos financially.

16. Put my inheritance in jeopardy with my earthy father.

17. Loss of right relationship with my cousins and their families.

18. Loss of relationships with church family.

19. Put my life in physical danger when using drugs and alcohol.

20. Destroyed my reputation as man.

21. Loss of professional relationships with successful people in the restaurant business.

22. Loss of professional jobs with a future.

23. Loss of self esteem.

24. Loss of self confidence.

25. Loss of peace.

26. Loss of restful lifestyle.

Robert,

To answer your question: "if you had to explain to someone with ssa why he should leave the gay life or not embrace it at first place and why it is so much worth to take up the fight for the Lord's cause, what would you say?"

Running after gay relationships is like drinking Drano. It leaves you feeling hollow inside. I maybe come at it from a different perspective. I grew up going to church and have gone as long as I can remember. I accepted Christ at a young again and have never left the church through all my struggles. I always felt like a hypocrite for the sin that I was committing, but never felt free to confess my sin openly. As I said, I accepted Christ at a young age and he has always given me faith and hope to continue to seek him. I never ran head long into the gay life-style because I knew that it would never ultimately satisfy me and I knew in the deepest part of my soul that it is wrong. But little by little, I allowed myself to be lead deeper and deeper into my addiction.

"Why shouldn't you go into a gay life?" It is a Pandora's Box. One of my regrets is a lose of innocents. I wish I didn't know of the depths of darkness that man can stoop to.

"Why get out of it?" Christ offers to restore what has been lost. He offers to restore the image of God in me that has been marred by my sin. He offers to give me deep intimacy with men and women free from stains of sin. That is why I continue to fight against the sin even when I fall. Every time I fall it reaffirms the emptiness of the gay life. I know that Christ has something better for me. Something that doesn't slip away in the moment. So I want to wait for that.

Peace of Christ,

Things I am Learning

1. Time heals all wounds - this is not true. Emotional wounds that are not healed, fester.

2. I was somehow different from other males - this is not true. Every man who ever was questions his manhood, questions how "good" of a man he is.

3. The definition of Manhood can be found in society - this is not true. The only definition of manhood that we should concern ourselves with is the definition set forth by God in the Bible in the example of Jesus Christ.

4. I am not worth the effort of healing - this is not true. Each and every one of us is WORTH it. Each and every one of us has intrinsic value as a human being, each and every one of us has a God given destiny to fulfill, and GOD thinks we are worth it!!

5. Focusing exclusively on a relationship with God will heal me - this is not entirely true. Of course, a deep, intimate relationship with God is important, but there are many blockages and obstacles that we have put in place between us and God, and without working through the underlying emotional wounds, we limit our ability to relate to God. The inverse is actually true, by working on my healing, I can gain a better, more intimate relationship with God.

6. Healing is passive - this is a LIE. Healing is an ACTIVE process. I have struggled with various addictions throughout my life (and still do), addictions to cigarettes, caffeine, marijuana. The process of healing and recovering is an ACTIVE process that occurs in the mind. I must continually CHOOSE healing, I must continually form and focus my thoughts toward the objective of obtaining wholeness in my struggle. If I do not make an active choice, my personality, BY DEFAULT, operates in broken mode.

Each day, I continue to learn new things about my struggle, about my self. Often times, I feel very bad, angry, sad, hurt. These emotions are quite uncomfortable and I wish I could just shunt time off to the non-feeling part of me. But these hurts, these feelings represent the underlying emotional wounds that MUST be healed. I think of it like a splinter. Of course, a splinter hurts, and will cause problems if not removed. However, the process of removing the splinter is sometimes, often, more painful that the splinter itself. Without experiencing the intense pain of removing the splinter, the wound will fester until the day we die.

Finally, a word of encouragement. In January and February of this year, I was hopelessly submerged in acting out and hooking up. I did not want to stop, I wanted to continue to find ways to deaden the pain and fill the void. I believe that God allowed me to immerse myself in sin so that I would fully understand my unregenerate condition, so that I would come to a point of complete hopelessness, in order to fully realize that my healing must be MY choice and itrmust be an ACTIVE choice. God will work with me, and God will multiple my efforts ten fold or a hundred fold.

God wants you to be whole. God wants you to understand that is our deep, innate, God given desires that are at the root of our dysfunction. God wants you to understand that these desires are GOOD, but our environment and society encourage us to pervert these desires and act out of our brokenness.

In Christ,
Paul

Scaring the crap out of people?

Sometimes we tend to think that scaring the crap out of people by letting them know about possible health issues like sexually transmitted diseases, cancer and the like resulting from men having sex with men is enough to keep them or their loved ones away from same-sex encounters. Is it really?

First and upfront: It certainly is necessary to do so. Few parents who adhere to the idea that when gay groups tell their kids at school how good and wonderful and normal the gay life actually is, know about the other side. Gay activists have a hard time explaining that side, as it is obvious that it is not a “homophobic” society that they can blame for that, but the way especially gay men have sex with one another. Also those who think about doing so themselves or who are already involved in the gay scene should get a detailed idea of what can and does happen. At best in real life: Seeing someone suffer takes a lot away from the “gay” life.

The problem is: Is this enough?

Read my lips: NO. This tactic alone never works. Just look at all the things they write on cigarette packages. That might shy away some, but who really wants to go for it, knows all of that – and smokes anyway. If we focus on scaring the crap out of people, then what happens is that “safer sex” campaigns will be pushed. Put on a condom and all is fine. Aside from the fact that a condom does not prevent all diseases, not even all contagious diseases, we start at the end if we do so. As the saying goes: A stiff --- doesn’t have a conscience. Once you’re horny and had some beers or once you are naked in a bathhouse you might or you might not put on a condom. Even if you do – there are diseases, emotional, relational and spiritual consequences a condom cannot protect you from. Why not addressing same-sex acts the same way we should address many other issues in society: By going back to the roots. If we raise godly children, tell them about sexuality and family the way God sees them and keep those moral standards ourselves, they will not even get to the point where they need a condom at first place. The 60s with their “sexual revolution” have done away with traditional Christian family values uphold for centuries – and replaced them with nothing. Almost everything goes – and the boundaries and taboos are being pushed further almost each year. Even gender identities are not safe from being open for discussion and “change”. Moral relativism reigns – we all are gods. No wonder we are in trouble.

We need to love people with same-sex attractions the way Christ loves them and we also need to tell them the truth in love and show them a better alternative. Through our own lives and example we should let Christ become present in us so others want Him too. Sex isn’t just “good” or “fun”. Sex is holy – meant for the good of two heterosexual spouses in a lifetime monogamous marriage and also to produce the most wonderful gift on earth: children. Everything (!) else – including inappropriate heterosexual acts – falls short of that ideal and will have consequences no condom can protect you from.

So to cut a long story short: It is not an “either/or”, but an “and”. Yes, we need to show people where it can lead to if they turn their face away from the loving Father who does not tell them what to do or not to do because He can, but because He loves us and knows about the consequences of our running away from Him. But shying away from the bad is not enough –we need to show them where to run to afterwards. “Just say NO!” is a pretty poor guideline for those involved. We better let people know what to say “YES!” to – and why.

Robert

Statistics on sexual promiscuity among homosexuals

by Matt Slick

9/13/11

Promiscuity

28% of homosexual men had more than 1000 partners: "Bell and Weinberg reported evidence of widespread sexual compulsion among homosexual men. 83% of the homosexual men surveyed estimated they had had sex with 50 or more partners in their lifetime, 43% estimated they had sex with 500 or more partners; 28% with 1,000 or more partners. Bell and Weinberg p 308."

(exodusglobalalliance.org/ishomosexualityhealthyp60.php)

79% of homosexual men say over half of sex partners are strangers: "The survey showed 79% of the respondents saying that over half of their sexual partners were strangers. Seventy percent said that over half of their sexual partners were people with whom they had sex only once. Bell and Weinberg pp.308-309." (exodusglobalalliance.org/ishomosexualityhealthyp60.php)

Modal range for homosexual sex partners 101-500: "In their study of the sexual profiles of 2,583 older homosexuals published in Journal of Sex Research, Paul Van de Ven et al. found that "the modal range for number of sexual partners ever [of homosexuals] was 101–500." In addition, 10.2 percent to 15.7 percent had between 501 and 1000 partners. A further 10.2 percent to 15.7 percent reported having had more than 1000 lifetime sexual partners. Paul Van de Ven et al., "A Comparative Demographic and Sexual Profile of Older Homosexually Active Men," Journal of Sex Research 34 (1997): 354." (exodusglobalalliance.org/ishomosexualityhealthyp60.php)

1978 study, 78% of gay men ad more than 100 partners, 28% more than 1000: "A far-ranging study of homosexual men published in 1978 revealed that 75 percent of self-identified, white, gay men admitted to having sex with more than 100 different males in their lifetime: 15 percent claimed 100-249 sex partners; 17 percent claimed 250-499; 15 percent claimed 500-999; and 28 percent claimed more than 1,000 lifetime male sex partners. By 1984, after the AIDS epidemic had taken hold, homosexual men were reportedly curtailing promiscuity, but not by much. Instead of more than 6 partners per month in 1982, the average non-monogamous respondent in San Francisco reported having about 4 partners per month in 1984." (catholiceducation.org/articles/homosexuality/ho0075.html)

There is an extremely low rate of sexual fidelity among homosexual men as compared to married heterosexuals. Among married females 85% reported sexual fidelity. Among married men, 75.5% reported sexual fidelity. Among homosexual males in their current relationship, 4.5% reported sexual fidelity. (Sources:Laumann, The Social Organization of Sexuality, 216; McWhirter and Mattison, The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop (1984): 252-253; Wiederman, "Extramarital Sex," 170. This is extracted from http://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=IS04C02)

(Source: https://carm.org/statistics-homosexual-promiscuity)

Dangers of Homosexuality According To Independent Government Agencies.

Summary:

The HIV and AIDS crisis is worse than ever among Gay and Bisexual men with 1 in 5 being infected with HIV or AIDS in 2010. With over 270,000 gay men having died of AIDS and over a half million gay men currently infected with HIV or AIDS the toll of the gay lifestyle is devastating.

Marriage represents a commitment to sexual exclusivity and fidelity. Gay marriage is not comparable to Heterosexual marriage because in over 50% of Gay relationships the partners agree, going into the relationship, to NOT be sexually monogamous.

(All sources are from impartial Govt. agencies like the C.D.C. and N.I.M.H.)
H.I.V. and AIDS Among Homosexual and Bisexual Men

Dr. Kevin Fenton, M.D., is the director of Centers for Disease Control (CDC) National Center for HIV/AIDS. He made the following statements in 2010 about HIV and AIDS, that it "exacts a devastating toll on men who have sex with men." "HIV remains a serious health threat among gay and bisexual men." "HIV remains a crisis that is far from over in this community."

He is referring to the following statistics released in 2010 by the CDC on men who have sex with men (MSM) in the United States. The CDC estimates that men who have sex with men, MSM, account for just 2-4 percent of the U.S. male population aged 13 and older and yet have the following catastrophic numbers affecting this small group.

    One in five Homosexual or Bisexual men is infected with HIV.
    Men who have sex with men (MSM) are 44 times more likely to get infected with HIV.
    MSM account for more than half of all new HIV infections in the U.S. each year.
    Nearly half of HIV infected men were unaware of their HIV status.
    The number of gay and bisexual men who are infected with HIV each year - 28,700.
    The number of people who die from AIDS each year - 18,000. The vast majority are gay and bisexual men.
    The total number of gay and bisexual men who are currently infected with HIV as of 2010 - 532,000.
    The total number of gay and bisexual men who have died due to HIV or AIDS as of 2010 - 279,000.

Syphilis, Hepatitis B, and Anal Cancer
Among Homosexual and Bisexual Men

It is not just with HIV and AIDS that gay and bisexual men have catastrophic risk factors.

This high percentage risk also applies to other diseases:

    - In 2006, 64% of the reported primary and secondary syphilis cases were among men who have sex with men (MSM).
    Syphilis MSM Fact Sheet
    - Approximately 15%25% of all new Hepatitis B virus (HBV) infections in the United States are among MSM
    Hepatitis, Populations, MSM
    - Men who have sex with men are 17 times more likely to develop anal cancer than heterosexual men. Men who are HIV-positive are even more likely than those who are uninfected to develop anal cancer.
    MSM Health and STDs

Gay Monogamy and Open Relationships

When Gay couples talk about monogamy, they are not talking about sexual monogamy.

Excerpts from the actual 2010 released study funded by the Govt. (NIMH):

Primary partners are an important and unrecognized source of new infections
Almost all gay couples have sexual agreements with their primary partner, and roughly 50% of these agreements are open and allow sex with outside partners.

Excerpt from the New York Times about the latest Govt. (NIMH) funded study about sexual monogamy in gay couples:

"New research at San Francisco State University reveals just how common open relationships are among gay men and lesbians in the Bay Area. The Gay Couples Study has followed 556 male couples for three years - about 50 percent of those surveyed have sex outside their relationships, with the knowledge and approval of their partners.

That consent is key. "With straight people, it's called affairs or cheating," said Colleen Hoff, the study's principal investigator, "but with gay people it does not have such negative connotations."

"None of this is news in the gay community, but few will speak publicly about it. Of the dozen people in open relationships contacted for this column, no one would agree to use his or her full name, citing privacy concerns. They also worried that discussing the subject could undermine the legal fight for same-sex marriage."

(Source: The Torah Declaration: http://www.torahdec.org/GovtInfo.aspx. Used with permission)

Ken Horne war ein junger Mann, der von Oregon nach San Francisco zog - auf der Suche nach Liebe. Er suchte den Mann, den er "heiraten" konnte. "Als er keinen Gatten fand, nahm er das Nächstbeste - Sex - und bald wurde Sex zu so etwas wie seiner Karriere. Es war nicht Liebe, aber wenigstens fühlte es sich gut an. (...) Als der Fokus beim Sex von Leidenschaft zur Technik wechselte, lernte Ken all die Dinge, die man tun konnte, um seinem Körper Vergnügen abzuringen. Die sexuellen Praktiken wurden immer esoterischer; das war der einzige Weg, um der Langeweile zu entkommen.." Dennoch dachte er immer noch, "das Leben ist eine Enttäuschung." Ken Horn war der erste berichtete AIDS-Fall in San Francisco. Am 30. November 1981 holte George Kennetz Horne jr. einen letzten gequälten Atemzug und verschwand in die totale Dunkelheit.?" (Randy Shilts, And The Band Played On)

Sagarin und John P. LeRoy warnen in The Homosexual and His Society: A View From Within: Wenn ein Homosexueller "erwartet, dass sein gelegentlicher Sexpartner irgendwie zu seinem Liebhaber oder Lebensgefährten wird, seine Chancen auf Erfüllung dieser Hoffnungen in der Realität sehr gering sind. (...) Viel zu viele Homosexuelle sehen das schwule Leben als ein Mittel, einen Liebhaber zu finden, wenn es doch eher eines ist, um einen One-Night-Stand zu finden!" "Ein beträchtlicher Anteil der homosexuellen Aktivitäten hat wenig oder kein Vorspiel oder irgendeine Form von Zärtlichkeit oder Zuneigung zwischen den Partnern. Solche Akte finden nicht so sehr zwischen zwei Personen als zwischen Teilen ihrer Körper statt. Sie sind mehr genital als persönlich. Jeder der beiden sieht seinen Partner nur als ein Mittel zum Ziel an: seinen sexuellen Drang zu befriedigen."

Dr. Robert Kronemeyer warnt, "Eine der Anzeichen, an denen Homosexualität gemessen werden kann, ist die Promiskuität; sie umfasst die Intensität der dahinterliegenden panischen Angst. Das Bedürfnis, seine Begehrenswürdigkeit zu "beweisen" ist unersättlich. Getrieben von Partner zu Partner, springt der Homosexuelle von einer "Eroberung" zur nächsten - entlang der grenzenlosen Straße der "unendlichen Liebe". Sein sexueller Zwang ist wie der Drang eines Drogensüchtigen nach dem nächsten Schuss oder ein Drink für den unstillbaren Durst eines Alkoholikers. "Schwul" zu sein, heißt in die Bar zu gehen," jammerte ein Mann - einer von vielen Homosexuellen - "den großen Auftritt zu machen, zu schauen und nochmals zu schauen, einen One-Night-Stand zu haben, niemals wirklich zu lieben oder geliebt zu werden - all dies zu wissen und es doch jede Nacht wieder zu tun. Jahr für Jahr." (Overcoming Homosexuality)

Alan Bell vom Kinsey Institute schreibt: "Ein typisches Bild des männlichen weißen Homosexuellen basierend auf unseren Forschungsergebnissen wäre das eines Menschen, der von mindestens 1.000 Sexpartnern während seines Lebens berichtet, von denen er die meisten vor dem sexuellen Kontakt nicht kannte und mit denen er nur einmal Sex hatte. Nur für wenige dieser Personen empfand er so etwas wie Zuneigung oder hat er überhaupt im gesellschaftlichen Rahmen wieder gesehen." "In frühen Studien - durchgeführt vom CDC (Centers for Disease Control) berichteten homosexuelle Männer mit AIDS von durchschnittlich 1.160 Sexpartnern während ihres Lebens." (Harry W. Haverkos, M.D. and Robert Edelman, M.D., The Journal of the American Medical Association)

Sieht das für dich nicht eher wie Verachtung als wie Liebe aus?

"Ich konnte mit Männern nichts anfangen (...) Ich beneidete sie, aber ich verachtete sie auch. Manchmal wünschte ich, dass ?ich das hätte, was sie haben?. Manchmal wurde dieser Wunsch sexuell verwirrt bis ich dachte, ich wollte sie und nicht das, was sie besaßen." (Ed Hurst with Dave and Neta Jackson, Overcoming Homosexuality)

"Für gewöhnlich zeigt man seinen Körper nicht und wenn man es doch tut, ist man entweder nervös oder hat die Absicht, jemand damit zu beeindrucken. Man hat den Eindruck, dass der fremde Blick, der über den eigenen Körper geht, ihn von sich selbst stiehlt oder andererseits, dass die Zurschaustellung des eigenen Körpers den Anderen einem wehrlos ausliefert und dass in diesem Fall der Andere zum Diener reduziert wird. (...) In dem Maße, in dem ich einen Körper habe, werde ich unter dem Blick einer anderen Person zum Status eines Objekts reduziert und ich zähle nicht mehr länger als ein Mensch für ihn. Oder ich werde selbst sein Herr und schaue ihn meinerseits an. Aber diese Herrschaft bedeutet auch meine eigene Niederlage, denn genau dann, wenn mein eigener Wert durch den Blick eines anderen anerkannt wird, ist dieser nicht mehr der Mensche, von dem ich anerkannt werden wollte, sondern jemand, der fasziniert und seiner Freiheit beraubt ist und der deshalb nicht mehr zählt in meinen Augen." (M. Merleau-Ponty, Phenomenology of Perception)

Failure in Gay Lives

Quite a number of gay people I know failed miserably in their lives - in Christian but also in worldly standards. Count me in - at least during my gay years. They then oftentimes try to explain that away and to make it look like something good by using moral relativism. Like every good/bad politician they apply their own (usually just invented) standards and consciously or unconsciously zoom out a good part of reality so their lives still look like something to them and - at least they believe - the world.

The problem with that: deep inside they know that's crap. That's one of the reasons their self-worth sometimes is so low. And it does not really help the mental disorders either some of them have if you avoid to face reality.

Examples: Failure in the professional life, overspending and/or financial disaster, many broken partnerships, even broken heterosexual families they once had, broken promises, people they hurt and left behind, broken moral values (even their own!), being developmentally stuck in puberty in some areas of their lives, and many more.

Just take one: Some had heterosexual families before. They broke their marriage vows among others by secretely having same-sex partners. The marriage usually ends at some point and the kids suffer. That is being explained away by saying they can now finally be who they truly are and nonsense like that. A broken family is a broken family and there is no good reason for that. Sometimes they even take the kids to live with them and their new same-sex partner. You really think you are giving your children a good example like that? That they will ever be able to raise a healthy family themselves if this is what they get to see? The sad part about it: society even applauds them for leaving everything behind.

Some live with their same-sex partner after that. They claim all is good and all are "happy". They even take care of him/her when he is sick and handicapped - not without tapping themselves on the shoulders and letting others know how good they really are. Then they start having other sex partners aside and even leave that old one behind. Of course, there are good reasons for that as well and they refuse all offers for help and deny all options for a solution. It is too much for me, it is all the other guy's fault, and - you might guess it already - "I don't love him anymore and I just want to be happy". How many people do you have to hurt to "be happy"?

Others hide behind diseases or disorders as they found out that gives them a good excuse not to assume responsibility and instead do what they want to do without having a bad conscience and without getting a bad reputation.

Some might want to point out examples now where things are differently. Are they really or just on the surfacee? Based on what standards?

I have spent many years in the gay scene and I have seen many people go down. Lots of them are no more, others are physically sick or mentally ill, financially broke or stand in front of their shattered lives - alone and embittered. Yet they will still tell me they are "happy".

No, you are not.

Robert

Unterstützen Sie uns finanziell:

Become a Patron!

Miserere Nobis ist angeschlossen an Homosexuals Anonymous und Jason International sowie The Jason Foundation.

Spenden werden nicht dafür benutzt, um einen Gewinn aus meiner Tätigkeit zu erzielen, sondern ausschließlich dafür, den Aufwand, den ich durch meine ehrenamtliche Tätigkeit habe, zu verringern.

Donations are not being used in order to gain profit for my services, but merely to minimize the expenses from voluntary work.

A Response to “Forum I” of the German Catholic Synodal Path

An Open Letter to the Catholic Bishops of the World

by Samuel J. Aquila, Archbishop of Denver:

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/storage/pdf/a-response-to-forum-i-of-the-german-catholic-synodal-path.pdf

Gepostet von Homosexuals Anonymous am Samstag, 24. Oktober 2020

Wollen wir die sexuelle Orientierung Minderjähriger beeinflussen?

Da wir keinerlei Therapie anbieten, können wir diese Frage klar mit nein beantworten.

Wenn diese Minderjährigen jedoch eine seelsorgerische Begleitung suchen und die Eltern damit einverstanden sind, werden wir diesem Wunsch entsprechen.

Wir sind keine Therapeuten, wir heilen keine Krankheiten und machen aus Schwulen keine Heteros. Was machen, ist Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen bei den von ihnen selbst gewählten Zielen seelsorgerisch zu begleiten.

Um Erfolg zu haben, um die ständige Motivation und das Durchhaltevermögen zu bekommen, die dich schließlich ans Ziel bringen, brauchst du eine Liebe, die größer ist als alles andere: eine Liebe zum Herrn, dem Schöpfer aller Dinge.

From Homosexuals Anonymous members and friends (a ministry affiliated with Miserere Nobis):

"HA has been the most transforming change agent in my born again life. My being, identity, self esteem was shattered into little pieces."

"I can honestly say HA deals with individuals struggling with sexual issues in a loving and caring manner. It uses the Bible, prayer, and group dynamics to provide individuals with hope and practical insights.

The emphasis is on reconciling one's self with his or her creator. In turn,one clarifies his or her true moral values for guiding his or her life.. The whole focus is on seeking holiness in one's day to day living.

HA invites individuals to participate in its meetings without coercion. If any changes are made by the individual, it is a result of his or her own choice. Everyone has the right to seek out like-minded individuals who wish to share their life stories and to share their religious beliefs.

I have seen individuals benefit from their participation in the group meetings, and the Bible studies. Needless to say, I have benefited greatly too!"

"Why do people think HA practices conversation therapy? Does AA or SAA (Sex Addiction Anonymous) practice conversion therapy? I think not. As a member of HA, I experience such ‘accusations’ or statements as oppressive, ignorant and unethical. I choose how I express my sexuality, integrate my beliefs, morality and preferences according to who I am. Nobody can or has a right to impose their beliefs onto me. I work out my own journey on a daily basis, only I can work it and walk it. It is a unique journey and I treasure the life it brings. HA is a non-judgemental, non-intrusive support for me in this process. There is certainly no hidden agenda to convert anyone to heterosexuality. However, I question the agenda of those who deny me this right to self determination. On the contrary, in HA there is space for each individual to uniquely emerge in an non-directive way, based on self-acceptance, love and mutual support. As a psychotherapist, I can say with great confidence that there is nothing unethical about the approach of HA and I would recommend it to anyone who desires to be free from the power of homosexual addiction and of unwanted same sex attraction. If during this process one discovers a more true-to-self sexual identity, so be it. Such has been my experience."

"Homosexuals Anonymous and Jason International are doing great work! In a day and age when there is more confusion than ever about sexuality, gender identity and the nature of the human person as lovingly created male or female by God, you are a beacon of clarity and light. You give hope to many by courageously proclaiming the message that embracing God's design and purpose for sexuality, no matter how difficult, is the best way to live a happy life."

Hinweis:

Seelsorge ersetzt NICHT den Gang zum Psychiater oder zur Psychotherapeutin bei psychischen Erkrankungen!

Gay Pride?

"Vor dem Verderben ⟨kommt⟩ Stolz, und Hochmut vor dem Fall." Sprüche 16,18 ELB

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18 NIV

Wer sagt "Ich bin ein Katholik, aber..." ist in Wahrheit kein Katholik.

Die Kirche - und mit ihr Gott selbst - hat uns nicht die Option gelassen, uns auszusuchen, was wir glauben und wo wir selbst Gott spielen und Glaubensgrundsätze ablehnen - oder zu unseren Gunsten "uminterpretieren" (bezeichnenderweise interpretiert niemand etwas so um, dass es für ihn oder sie nachteilig wäre...).

Entweder du nimmst das ganze Paket oder du lässt es. Beides aber hat Konsequenzen.

"I've tried pretty much everything, but I guess I will always be gay!"

You are neither "gay" nor "straight". You are "you". As a Christian you can say you were born in the image of God. But even as a non-believer you have your very own special design. No need to define an extra "identity" for every single sexual practice or orientation.

Having accepted this, there is no need to strive for a change from "gay" to "straight". It is not your sexuality that defines you, but your belief system. Christians want to be more like Jesus (and not just "straight"). People with other belief systems have their own goals and values as well

Nobody can take that away from you. It is you (!) that decides who you are and which way you want your life to go. Don't let anyone take that away from you!

"Nur weil du dich nicht für Politik interessierst, heißt das noch lange nicht, dass die Politik sich nicht für dich interessiert."

— Perikles (um 495 - 429 v. Chr.)

Let me get this straight: Sex is "fluid" when it comes to "gender" - but set in stone when it comes to "orientation". This is not science, this is propaganda.

Da wir nicht therapeutisch tätig sind, geben wir auch keinerlei Heilsversprechen ab!

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

Arthur Schopenhauer 1788-1860

Ist "Homosexualität" eine Krankheit?

Gerade von schwulen Aktivisten wird Einrichtungen wie der unseren immer wieder vorgeworfen, wir würden behaupten, Homosexualität sei eine Krankheit und damit behandlungsbedürftig bzw. heilbar. Stimmt das?

Hierfür bedarf es erst einmal einer begrifflichen Klärung. Im weiteren wollen wir Homosexualität als eine "lang andauernde, überwiegende sexuelle und emotionale Neigung zum eigenen Geschlecht" verstehen. Krankheit hingegen als "Störung der Funktion eines Organs oder Körperteils bzw. des geistigen oder seelischen Wohlbefindens".

Weiterhin sei nochmals herausgestellt, dass bisher trotz langer Forschung keine Theorie zur Entstehung von gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen schlüssig und zweifelsfrei bewiesen wurde.

Letztlich sei darauf verwiesen, dass die Entscheidung amerikanischer Psychiater in den 70ern, "Homosexualität" von der Liste der Erkrankungen zu nehmen, in keinster Weise auf neuen medizinischen Grundlagen basierte (die gab es seinerzeit schlichtweg nicht), sondern allein auf politischen Druck hin.

Die moderne Wissenschaft tendiert einerseits dazu, die Entwicklung menschlicher Sexualität auf ein Bündel unterschiedlichster Faktoren zurückzuführen. Erkenntnisse aus der Epigenetik haben dabei gezeigt, dass selbst Umweltfaktoren einen Einfluss auf die DNA (i.e. der Aktivierung oder Deaktivierung oder gar Neubildung von Genen) haben können.

Unzählige Lebensläufe von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen haben gezeigt, dass es hierbei etliche frappierende Übereinstimmungen gibt. Diese Übereinstimmungen unter den Tisch zu kehren, wäre nicht wissenschaftlich. Sie politisch wegzuerklären, wäre nicht ethisch.

Ist "Homosexualität" also eine Krankheit? Kann man sich dazu entscheiden, "homosexuell" zu sein?

Gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen als Ganzes einfach als "Krankheit" zu definieren, würde bedeuten, eine sehr komplexe Angelegenheit unzulässig zu vereinfachen. Es wäre aber genauso unzulässig, die Faktoren in der Betrachtung des Themas zu verschweigen, die tatsächlich krankhaften Hintergrund haben. Wenn also bestimmte psychische Erkrankungen oder Störungen bei bestimmten Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen gehäuft auftreten, so ist zwar die "Homosexualität" als Ganze hierfür nicht zwangsweise verantwortlich, die gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen und ihre Entstehung bzw. Charakteristika dabei aus politischen Gründen zu verschweigen, würde den Betroffenen nicht gerecht werden.

Beispiele: Viele Männer mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen haben oder hatten ein gestörtes Verhältnis zu ihrem Vater. Dies hat sich in der Folgezeit in unterschiedlicher Art und Weise gezeigt. Bei manchen bedeutete dies, dass sie als Heranwachsende nie den Zugang zur Welt der Männer und zu ihrer eigenen männlichen Identität fanden - war diese doch für sie fremd und bedrohlich. Mit Eintritt der Pubertät werden wir in der Regel von dem angezogen, was wir als "anders" empfinden als wir selbst. Wenn das bei Jungs die Welt der Männer ist, wird sich der Junge möglicherweise von einem besonders "männlich" wirkenden Geschlechtsgenossen angezogen fühlen. Diese Fälle einfach zu verleugnen oder "wegzuerklären" ist nicht Wissenschaft, sondern Politik.

Kein ernsthafter Therapeut wird sich also als Therapieziel die Umwandlung von "homosexuell" zu "heterosexuell" wählen. Gleichwohl können aber einige der Faktoren angegangen werden, die zur Entwicklung der jeweiligen Sexualität beigetragen haben und die vom Betroffenen als unangenehm, störend und belastend empfunden werden und/oder das Kriterium einer Störung oder Erkrankung erfüllen.

Niemand entscheidet sich dafür, gleichgeschlechtlich zu empfinden. Dennoch gibt es Menschen, die aus unterschiedlichsten Gründen ihre gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen nicht ausleben wollen bzw. Unterstützung bei der Verstärkung bereits gleichzeitig vorhandener heterosexueller Neigungen suchen. Wer sind wir, dass wir sagen, wir können einen Mann zur Frau machen, wenn wir ihm Hormone geben und chirurgisch seinen gesunden Körper verstümmeln, aber gleichzeitig einen völlig legitimen Wunsch als "verbrecherisch", "unmenschlich" und "schädlich" verwerfen?

Gerne wird uns und ähnlichen Einrichtungen vorgeworfen, was wir tun, wäre im schlimmsten Fall gesundheitsgefährdend für die Betroffenen, besonders hinsichtlich ihres seelischen Wohlbefindens. Mit keinem Wort wird erwähnt, welche Folgen ein schwules Leben nachgewiesenermaßen (!) bei vielen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen hat. Wer dies nicht glaubt, kann sich gerne beim Robert Koch Institut kundig machen. Ein winziger Prozentsatz der Bevölkerung hat einen ungewöhnlich hohen Anteil an den Geschlechtskrankheiten. Auch bei psychischen Erkrankungen liegen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen weit vorn (wofür ich nicht einfach die Gesellschaft verantwortlich machen kann). Ebenso ist der erhöhte Drogenkonsum, die Kurzlebigkeit und Polygamie sowie die durchschnittlich extremere Ausprägung sexueller Beziehungen in der schwulen Szene nicht ungewöhnlich.

Wer das alles als "völlig normal" abtut, handelt verantwortungslos, politisch eigennützig und schadet den Betroffenen.

Unsere Einrichtung ist nicht therapeutisch tätig. Wir sind ein christlicher Dienst, der seelsorgerisch tätig ist.

Mit Betroffenheit sehen wir das Schweigen der Bevölkerungsmehrheit bei offensichtlichen Versuchen, durch völlig überzogene und haltlose Vorwürfe ("Konversionstherapie") wissenschaftliche Forschung einzuschränken und zu politisieren, Andersdenkende zu kriminalisieren und den selbstgewählten Wunsch von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, Unterstützung bei einem Leben jenseits der schwulen Szene zu finden, als krankhaft und verwerflich hinzustellen.

Hiermit soll eine Art von geschlechtlosem Gender-Menschen, eine nicht mehr vorhandene Definition von Familie und eine völlig ungezügelte Sexualität bereits in jungen Jahren gefördert werden.

Dem werden wir uns als gläubige Christen wie auch als vernünftig denkende Menschen entgegenstellen - und fordern jede/n auf, dasselbe zu tun.

Letztlich ist es auch absurd, uns vorzuwerfen, wir wollen durch die Klassifizierung von "Homosexualität" als "Krankheit" Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen abwerten. Warum? Weil die meisten von uns selbst solche Neigungen hatten oder haben. Wir haben gelernt, unsere sexuelle Energie anderweitig zu nutzen.

Ja, wir existieren, auch wenn wir von schwuler Seite aggressiv bekämpft, beschuldigt, verurteilt und beleidigt werden. Wir passen nicht in ihr Konzept. Wenn es nämlich einem einzigen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen gelingt, ein erfülltes Leben zu führen, ohne diese auszuleben, haben schwule Aktivisten keine Entschuldigung mehr für die Art und Weise, wie sie ihr Leben gestalten.

Im Gegensatz zu schwulen Aktivisten wollen wir nicht jeden zwingen, unsere Meinung anzunehmen. Wir unternehmen keine Versuche, Andersdenkende zu kriminalisieren, schlecht zu reden, als radikal und/oder rückständig darzustellen und von der politischen Erdoberfläche verschwinden zu lassen.

Vor allem aber widersetzen wir uns dem schwulen "Neusprech" - einer Gedankenkontrolle, wie wir sie von George Orwell kennen.

"Krieg ist Frieden

Freiheit ist Sklaverei

Unwissenheit ist Stärke“

George Orwell

München, den 01.04.2019

Robert Gollwitzer

Jason Ministries

Homosexuals Anonymous

Miserere Nobis

Glaubensmanifest

"Euer Herz lasse sich nicht verwirren!" (Joh 14,1)

Angesichts sich ausbreitender Verwirrung in der Lehre des Glaubens, haben viele Bischöfe, Priester, Ordensleute und Laien der katholischen Kirche mich um ein öffentliches Zeugnis für die Wahrheit der Offenbarung gebeten. Es ist die ureigene Aufgabe der Hirten, die ihnen Anvertrauten auf den Weg des Heils zu führen. Dies kann nur gelingen, wenn dieser Weg bekannt ist und sie ihn selber vorangehen. Dabei gilt das Wort des Apostels: "Denn vor allem habe ich euch überliefert, was auch ich empfangen habe" (1 Kor 15,3). Heute sind vielen Christen selbst die grundlegenden Lehren des Glaubens nicht mehr bekannt, so dass die Gefahr wächst, den Weg zum Ewigen Leben zu verfehlen. Es bleibt aber die ureigene Aufgabe der Kirche, die Menschen zu Jesus Christus, dem Licht der Völker, zu führen (vgl. LG 1). In dieser Lage stellt sich die Frage nach Orientierung. Nach Johannes Paul II. stellt der Katechismus der Katholischen Kirche eine "sichere Norm für die Lehre des Glaubens" (Fidei Depositum IV) dar. Er wurde mit dem Ziel verfasst, die Brüder und Schwestern im Glauben zu stärken, deren Glaube durch die "Diktatur des Relativismus" massiv in Frage gestellt wird.[1]

1. Der eine und dreifaltige Gott, offenbart in Jesus Christus

Der Inbegriff des Glaubens aller Christen findet sich im Bekenntnis zur Allerheiligsten Dreifaltigkeit. Wir sind durch die Taufe auf den Namen des Vaters und des Sohnes und des Heiligen Geistes Jünger Jesu, Kinder und Freunde Gottes geworden. Die Verschiedenheit der drei Personen in der göttlichen Einheit (254) markiert im Hinblick auf andere Religionen einen fundamentalen Unterschied im Gottesglauben und im Menschenbild. Am Bekenntnis zu Jesus dem Christus scheiden sich die Geister. Er ist wahrer Gott und wahrer Mensch, empfangen vom Heiligen Geist und geboren aus der Jungfrau Maria. Das Fleisch gewordene Wort, der Sohn Gottes, ist der einzige Erlöser der Welt (679) und der einzige Mittler zwischen Gott und den Menschen (846). Daher bezeichnet der erste Johannesbrief denjenigen als Antichrist, der seine Gottheit leugnet (1 Joh 2,22), da Jesus Christus, der Sohn Gottes von Ewigkeit her eines Wesens ist mit Gott, Seinem Vater (663). Mit klarer Entschiedenheit ist dem Rückfall in alte Häresien entgegenzutreten, die in Jesus Christus nur einen guten Menschen, Bruder und Freund, einen Propheten und Moralisten sahen. Er ist zu allererst das Wort, das bei Gott war und Gott ist, der Sohn des Vaters, der unsere menschliche Natur angenommen hat, um uns zu erlösen und der kommen wird zu richten die Lebenden und die Toten. Ihn allein beten wir in der Einheit mit dem Vater und dem Heiligen Geist als den einzigen und wahren Gott an (691).

2. Die Kirche

Jesus Christus hat die Kirche als sichtbares Zeichen und Werkzeug des Heils gegründet, die in der katholischen Kirche verwirklicht ist (816). Er gab seiner Kirche, die "aus der Seite des am Kreuz entschlafenen Christus" hervorgegangen ist (766), eine sakramentale Verfassung, die bis zur Vollendung bleibt (765). Christus, das Haupt, und die Gläubigen als Glieder des Leibes sind eine mystische Person (795), weshalb die Kirche heilig ist, denn der einzige Mittler hat ihr sichtbares Gefüge verfasst und erhält sie unablässig (771). Durch sie wird das Erlösungswerk Christi in Zeit und Raum gegenwärtig in der Feier der heiligen Sakramente, vor allem im eucharistischen Opfer, der heiligen Messe (1330). Die Kirche vermittelt mit der Autorität Christi die göttliche Offenbarung, die sich auf alle Elemente der Lehre erstreckt, "einschließlich der Sittenlehre, ohne welche die Heilswahrheiten des Glaubens nicht bewahrt, dargelegt und beobachtet werden können" (2035).

3. Sakramentale Ordnung

Die Kirche ist in Jesus Christus das allumfassende Sakrament des Heils (776). Sie reflektiert nicht sich selbst, sondern das Licht Christi, das auf ihrem Antlitz widerscheint. Dies geschieht nur dann, wenn weder eine Mehrheit, noch der Zeitgeist, sondern die in Jesus Christus geoffenbarte Wahrheit zum Bezugspunkt wird, denn Christus hat der katholischen Kirche die Gnaden- und Wahrheitsfülle anvertraut (819): Er selbst ist in den Sakramenten der Kirche gegenwärtig.

Die Kirche ist kein von Menschen gegründeter Verein, über dessen Struktur seine Mitglieder nach Belieben abstimmen. Sie ist göttlichen Ursprungs. "Christus selbst ist der Urheber des Amtes in der Kirche. Er hat es eingesetzt, ihm Vollmacht und Sendung, Ausrichtung und Zielsetzung gegeben" (874). Die Mahnung des Apostels gilt bis heute, dass verflucht sei, wer ein anderes Evangelium verkündet, "auch wenn wir selbst es wären oder ein Engel vom Himmel" (Gal 1,8). Die Vermittlung des Glaubens ist unlösbar mit der menschlichen Glaubwürdigkeit seiner Boten verbunden, die in einigen Fällen die ihnen Anvertrauten im Stich gelassen, sie verunsichert und ihren Glauben schwer geschädigt haben. Hier trifft das Wort der Schrift diejenigen, die der Wahrheit kein Gehör schenken und sich nach eigenen Wünschen richten, die den Ohren schmeicheln, weil sie die gesunde Lehre nicht ertragen (vgl. 2 Tim 4,3-4).

Aufgabe des Lehramtes der Kirche ist es, das "Volk vor Verirrungen und Glaubensschwäche zu schützen", um "den ursprünglichen Glauben irrtumsfrei zu bekennen" (890). Dies gilt besonders im Hinblick auf alle sieben Sakramente. Die hl. Eucharistie ist "Quelle und Höhepunkt des ganzen christlichen Lebens" (1324). Das eucharistische Opfer, in dem uns Christus in sein Kreuzesopfer einbezieht, zielt auf die innigste Vereinigung mit Christus (1382). Daher mahnt die Heilige Schrift im Hinblick auf den Empfang der hl. Kommunion: "Wer also unwürdig von dem Brot isst und aus dem Kelch des Herrn trinkt, macht sich schuldig am Leib und am Blut des Herrn" (1 Kor 11,27). "Wer sich einer schweren Sünde bewusst ist, muss das Sakrament der Buße empfangen, bevor er die Kommunion empfängt" (1385). Von der inneren Logik des Sakramentes versteht sich, dass standesamtlich wiederverheiratet Geschiedene, deren sakramentale Ehe vor Gott besteht, nicht voll mit dem katholischen Glauben und der Kirche verbundene Christen, wie alle, die nicht entsprechend disponiert sind, die heilige Eucharistie nicht fruchtbar empfangen (1457), weil sie ihnen nicht zum Heil gereicht. Darauf hinzuweisen entspricht den geistigen Werken der Barmherzigkeit.

Das Bekenntnis der Sünden in der heiligen Beichte wenigstens einmal im Jahr gehört zu den Kirchengeboten (2042). Wenn die Gläubigen ihre Sünden nicht mehr bekennen und die Lossprechung von ihren Sünden erfahren, dann läuft die Erlösung ins Leere, schließlich ist Jesus Christus Mensch geworden, um uns von unseren Sünden zu erlösen. Auch für die schweren und lässlichen Sünden, die wir nach der Taufe begehen, gilt die Vollmacht der Vergebung, die der auferstandene Herr den Aposteln und ihren Nachfolger im Bischofs- und Priesteramt übertragen hat. Die aktuelle Beichtpraxis lässt deutlich werden, dass das Gewissen der Gläubigen nicht ausreichend geformt ist. Gottes Barmherzigkeit ist uns geschenkt, dass wir seine Gebote erfüllen, um dadurch eins zu werden mit seinem heiligen Willen und nicht, damit wir der Forderung zur Umkehr ausweichen (1458).

"Der Priester setzt auf Erden das Erlösungswerk fort" (1589). Die Priesterweihe "verleiht ihm eine heilige Vollmacht" (1592), die unersetzbar ist, denn durch sie wird Jesus Christus in seinem Heilshandeln sakramental gegenwärtig. Daher entscheiden sich Priester freiwillig für den Zölibat als "Zeichen des neuen Lebens" (1579). Es geht um die Selbsthingabe im Dienst Christi und Seines kommenden Reiches. Im Hinblick auf den Empfang der Weihe in den drei Stufen dieses Amtes weiß sich die Kirche "durch [die] Wahl, die der Herr selbst getroffen hat, gebunden. Darum ist es nicht möglich, Frauen zu weihen" (1577). Hier eine Diskriminierung der Frau zu unterstellen, zeigt nur das Unverständnis für dieses Sakrament, bei dem es nicht um irdische Macht geht, sondern um die Repräsentation Christi, des Bräutigams der Kirche.

4. Das sittliche Gesetz

Glaube und Leben gehören untrennbar zusammen, denn Glaube ohne Werke, die im Herrn getan werden, ist tot (1815). Das sittliche Gesetz ist Werk der göttlichen Weisheit und führt den Menschen zur verheißenen Seligkeit (1950). Demzufolge ist die Kenntnis des göttlichen und natürlichen Sittengesetzes notwendig, "um das Gute zu tun und sein Ziel zu erreichen" (1955). Seine Beachtung ist für alle Menschen guten Willens heilsnotwendig. Denn wer in Todsünde stirbt, ohne bereut zu haben, wird für immer von Gott getrennt sein (1033). Dies führt zu praktischen Konsequenzen im Leben der Christen, von denen viele heute verdunkelt sind (vgl. 2270-2283; 2350-2381). Das sittliche Gesetz ist nicht eine Last, sondern Teil jener befreienden Wahrheit (vgl. Joh 8,32), durch die der Christ den Weg des Heils geht und die nicht relativiert werden darf.

5. Das Ewige Leben

Viele fragen sich heute, wofür die Kirche eigentlich noch da ist, wenn sich auch Bischöfe lieber in der Rolle als Politiker gefallen, denn als Lehrer des Glaubens das Evangelium verkünden. Der Blick darf nicht durch Nebensächlichkeiten verwässert, sondern das Proprium der Kirche muss thematisiert werden. Jeder Mensch hat eine unsterbliche Seele, die im Tod vom Leib getrennt wird, indem er auf die Auferstehung der Toten hofft (366). Der Tod lässt die Entscheidung des Menschen für oder gegen Gott definitiv werden. Jeder muss sich unmittelbar nach dem Tod dem besonderen Gericht stellen (1021). Entweder ist noch eine Läuterung notwendig oder der Mensch gelangt unmittelbar in die himmlische Seligkeit und darf Gott von Angesicht zu Angesicht schauen. Es gibt auch die schreckliche Möglichkeit, dass ein Mensch bis zuletzt im Widerspruch zu Gott verharrt und indem er sich Seiner Liebe definitiv verweigert, "sich selbst sogleich und für immer verdammt" (1022). "Gott hat uns erschaffen ohne uns, er wollte uns aber nicht retten ohne uns" (1847). Die Ewigkeit der Höllenstrafe ist eine furchtbare Wirklichkeit, die – nach dem Zeugnis der Heiligen Schrift – sich alle zuziehen die "im Stand der Todsünde sterben" (1035). Der Christ geht durch das enge Tor, denn "weit ist das Tor und breit der Weg, der ins Verderben führt, und es sind viele, die auf ihm gehen" (Mt 7,13).

Diese und andere Glaubenswahrheiten zu verschweigen und die Menschen entsprechend zu lehren ist der schlimmste Betrug, vor dem der Katechismus mit Nachdruck warnt. Er stellt die letzte Prüfung der Kirche dar und führt den Menschen zu einem religiösen Lügenwahn, um "den Preis ihres Abfalls von der Wahrheit" (675); es ist der Betrug des Antichrists. "Er wird jene, die verloren gehen, mit allen Mitteln der Ungerechtigkeit täuschen; denn sie haben sich der Liebe zur Wahrheit verschlossen, durch die sie gerettet werden sollten" (2 Thess 2,10).

Aufruf

Als Arbeiter im Weinberg des Herrn haben wir alle die Verantwortung, diese grundlegenden Wahrheiten in Erinnerung zu rufen, indem wir an dem festhalten, was wir selber empfangen haben. Wir wollen Mut machen, den Weg Jesu Christi mit Entschiedenheit zu gehen, um durch die Befolgung Seiner Gebote das ewige Leben zu erlangen (2075).

Bitten wir den Herrn, Er möge uns erkennen lassen, wie groß das Geschenk des katholischen Glaubens ist, durch den sich die Tür zum Ewigen Leben öffnet. "Denn wer sich vor dieser treulosen und sündigen Generation meiner und meiner Worte schämt, dessen wird sich auch der Menschensohn schämen, wenn er mit den heiligen Engeln in der Hoheit seines Vaters kommt" (Mk 8,38). Daher setzen wir uns ein für die Stärkung des Glaubens, indem wir die Wahrheit bekennen, die Jesus Christus selber ist.

Gerade wir Bischöfe und Priester sind angesprochen, wenn Paulus, der Apostel Jesu Christi, seinem Mitstreiter und Nachfolger Timotheus diese Mahnung mit auf den Weg gibt: "Ich beschwöre dich bei Gott und bei Jesus Christus, dem kommenden Richter der Lebenden und Toten, bei seinem Erscheinen und seinem Reich: Verkünde das Wort, tritt auf, ob gelegen oder ungelegen, überführe, weise zurecht, ermahne in aller Geduld und Belehrung. Denn es wird eine Zeit kommen, in der man die gesunde Lehre nicht erträgt, sondern sich nach eigenen Begierden Lehrer sucht, um sich die Ohren zu kitzeln; und man wird von der Wahrheit das Ohr abwenden, sich dagegen Fabeleien zuwenden. Du aber sei in allem nüchtern, ertrage das Leiden, verrichte dein Werk als Verkünder des Evangeliums, erfülle deinen Dienst!" (2 Tim 4,1-5).

Möge Maria, die Mutter Gottes, uns die Gnade erflehen, am Bekenntnis zur Wahrheit Jesu Christi ohne Wanken festzuhalten.

Im Glauben und Gebet verbunden

Gerhard Cardinal Müller

Präfekt der Kongregation für die Glaubenslehre von 2012-2017

[1] Die Nummern im Text beziehen sich auf den Katechismus der Katholischen Kirche.

Wer miterleben musste, welche körperlichen, psychischen und möglicherweise auch spirituellen Konsequenzen ein jahrelanges Leben in der Schwulenszene für die Betroffenen hatte, kann nur den Kopf schütteln über die Weigerung von Ärzten, Therapeutinnen und der Gesellschaft insgesamt, dies anzuerkennen und Folgen daraus zu ziehen. Wer selbst erfahren hat, dass Sex nicht heilt und keine unerfüllten Bedürfnisse stillt, wer es satt hat, dass ihm/ihr immer nur gesagt wird "Dann tu's doch einfach, wenn dir danach ist!", weiß auch, was es bedeutet, wenn sich völlige Gleichgültigkeit und Inkompetenz hinter scheinheilig-besorgten Phrasen verbirgt. Menschen, die immer nur politisch korrekte Antworten auf ihre offenen Fragen bekommen haben, die doch nur das Gewissen der Gesellschaft beruhigen sollen, sind froh um jede helfende Hand, die sich ihnen bietet. Sie sind dankbar um jede/n, der/dem es nicht egal ist, ob diese Phrasen sein Anliegen wirklich verbessern, sondern der sich offen und selbstlos seiner/ihrer annimmt und ihm/ihr mit bedingungsloser Liebe begegnet.

"Ihr verleugnet euch doch nur selbst! Auch Leute von euch haben immer wieder schwulen Sex! Euer Programm ist doch nur Mist!"

Auch das bekommen wir immer wieder zu hören. Was also ist mit diesen Behauptungen?

Natürlich passiert es auch, dass Mitglieder von uns mal ihre eigenen Standards brechen und schwulen Sex haben. Macht das die Standards schlecht? Oder schwulen Sex gut? Das ist eine ebenso falsche wie absurde und unlogische Schlussfolgerung.

Wer so denkte, müsste logischerweise auch folgendem zustimmen:

- Alle Christinnen und Christen sündigen. Also ist die Lehre des Christentums falsch.

- Es kommt vor, dass Alkoholiker im Entzug wieder rückfällig werden. Deshalb ist es unsinnig, entziehen zu wollen.

- Mir ist bewusst, ich muss mich gesünder ernähren. Schließlich waren meine Blutwerte wieder mal so schlecht. Gestern aber habe ich wieder eine große Portion Schweinebraten gegessen. Ich will mich also nicht mehr selbst verleugnen, sondern halte es für besser und richtig, von nun an nach Herzenslust zuzulangen.

- usw.

Derartige Annahmen führen also zwangsweise zu unsinnigen Schlussfolgerungen. Für sich zu erkennen, was gut und richtig ist, wird nicht dadurch geschmälert, dass ich ab und an davon abweiche und falle. Es bedeutet vielmehr, dass mir gerade deshalb bewusst wird, wie wichtig es trotz allem ist, wieder aufzustehen und mich wieder in Richtung meines für richtig erkannten Ziels zu bewegen!

Wir lehnen Konversionstherapien ab und bieten grundsätzlich keine Therapien an. Ebenso wenig machen wir hierfür Werbung. Unser Ziel ist nicht "von schwul zu hetero“, sondern „näher zu Jesus“!

We oppose conversion therapies and do not offer any therapies whatsoever nor do we make publicity for them. Our goal is not "from gay to hetero“, but „closer to Jesus“!

Die Tatsache, dass jemand körperliche Veränderungen hat (seien sie nun in den primären Geschlechtsmerkmalen, dem Gehirn oder der DNA), begründet noch lange kein "drittes Geschlecht", ebenso wenig wie gleichgeschlechtliche Empfindungen eine eigene sexuelle Identität darstellen. Erst recht nicht auf Grund der Selbstwahrnehmung in beiden Fällen. Derartiges anzunehmen ist absurd und führt - konsequent weiter gedacht - zu noch absurderen Schlussfolgerungen.

"Kommt alle zu mir, die ihr mühselig und beladen seid! Ich will euch erquicken.

Nehmt mein Joch auf euch und lernt von mir; denn ich bin gütig und von Herzen demütig; und ihr werdet Ruhe finden für eure Seele."

(Matthäus 11,28-29 Einheitsübersetzung 2016)

Man darf also Männern was abschneiden und sie so zu "Frauen" machen, aber wenn man ihnen - auf eigenen Wunsch! - aus ihrem schwulen Leben heraus hilft, ist das "Konversionstherapie" [ist es übrigens nicht!] und man soll dafür auf dem Scheiterhaufen der Politik und Justiz landen? Was ist nur aus dem guten alten gesunden Menschenverstand geworden?

Homosexuals Anonymous

Es häufen sich die Zeugenaussagen, dass die Päpste Franziskus, Benedikt XVI und St. Johannes Paul II offenbar tiefer in Skandäle verwickelt waren und sind als gemeinhin angenommen - und davon ist der Missbrauchsskandal nur ein Teil. Möglicherweise hat das Ganze sogar strafrechtliche Ausmaße.

Die Katholische Kirche ist an einem historisch einzigartigen Tiefpunkt angelangt, der so manchen an das Eintreten der Endzeit denken lässt.

Jedenfalls muss Papst Franziskus zurücktreten. Hier gibt es inzwischen so viele Zeugen, dass eine (Mit-)Schuld nicht mehr so einfach vom Tisch gewischt werden kann.

Ein Trost bleibt uns Katholiken in dieser dunklen Zeit: Der Herr hat uns versprochen, dass Er immer bei Seiner Kirche bleiben und dass diese niemals untergehen wird...

Our goal is not heterosexuality. Our goal is holiness!

Unser Ziel ist nicht, aus "Homos" "Heteros" zu machen. Wir helfen Menschen, die - aus welchen Gründen auch immer - ihre gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen nicht ausleben möchten. Wir stehen ihnen mit Seelsorge, Einzelgesprächen oder Gruppentreffen bei. Wer sind wir, ihnen vorschreiben zu wollen, dass sie das nicht dürfen?

Gleichwohl finden wir es bezeichnend, dass mittlerweile von Fachleuten und sogar innerhalb der schwulen Szene von einer "Fluidität" der menschlichen Sexualität gesprochen wird. Was nichts anderes heißt, als dass hier nichts für immer festgeschrieben ist, sondern durchaus einem Wandel unterliegt. Dennoch bekämpft man vehement "Umpolungsversuche". Beides jedoch ist nicht vereinbar. Entweder ist Sexualität fluide - und damit äußeren Einflüssen zugänglich - oder nicht.

Menschliche Sexualität wird von vielen verschiedenen internen und externen Faktoren beeinflusst. Selbst die Aktivierung oder Deaktivierung und sogar Neubildung (!) von Genen ist von Umweltfaktoren und vom Verhalten abhängig. Einfach gestrickte Aussagen mögen deshalb politisch motiviert sein, wissenschaftlich sind sie nicht.

NOTE: Expressions like "freedom from homosexuality", "change", "healing" or "recovery" do NOT refer to a change from homosexuality to heterosexuality but to a personal decision to live a fulfilled life beyond the gay scene. A life following Jesus Christ.

"Die reinste Form des Wahnsinns ist es, alles beim Alten zu lassen und gleichzeitig zu hoffen, dass sich etwas ändert."

Albert Einstein

“The Church of the living God - the pillar and the bulwark of the truth”

(1 Tim 3:15)

Declaration of the truths relating to some of the most common errors in the life of the Church of our time

The Fundamentals of Faith

1.The right meaning of the expressions ‘living tradition,’ ‘living Magisterium,’ ‘hermeneutic of continuity,’ and ‘development of doctrine’ includes the truth that whatever new insights may be expressed regarding the deposit of faith, nevertheless they cannot be contrary to what the Churchhas always proposed in the same dogma, in the same sense, and in the same meaning (see FirstVatican Council, Dei Filius, sess. 3, c. 4: “in eodem dogmate, eodem sensu, eademque sententia”).

2.“Themeaning of dogmatic formulas remains ever true and constant in the Church, even when it is expressed with greater clarity or more developed. The faithful therefore must shun the opinion,first, that dogmatic formulas (or some category of them) cannot signify truth in a determinate way,but can only offer changeable approximations to it, which to a certain extent distort or alter it; secondly, that these formulas signify the truth only in an indeterminate way, this truth being likea goal that is constantly being sought by means of such approximations. Those who hold such an opinion do not avoid dogmatic relativism and they corrupt the concept of the Church's infallibilityrelative to the truth to be taught or held in a determinate way.” (Sacred Congregation for theDoctrine of the Faith, Declaration “Mysterium Ecclesiae” in defense of the Catholic doctrine on the Church against certain errors of the present day, 5).

The Creed

3.“The Kingdom of God begun here below in the Church of Christ is not of this world whose formis passing, and its proper growth cannot be confounded with the progress of civilization, of scienceor of human technology, but it consists in an ever more profound knowledge of the unfathomableriches of Christ, an ever stronger hope in eternal blessings, an ever more ardent response to thelove of God, and an ever more generous bestowal of grace and holiness among men. The deepsolicitude of the Church, the Spouse of Christ, for the needs of men, for their joys and hopes, theirgriefs and efforts, is therefore nothing other than her great desire to be present to them, in order to illuminate them with the light of Christ and to gather them all in Him, their only Savior. Thissolicitude can never mean that the Church conforms herself to the things of this world, or that shelessens the ardor of her longing of her Lord and of the eternal Kingdom” (Paul VI, Apostolic letterSolemni hac liturgia (Credo of the People of God), 27). The opinion is, therefore, erroneous thatsays that God is glorified principally by the very fact of the progress in the temporal and earthlycondition of the human race.

4.After the institution of the New and Everlasting Covenant in Jesus Christ, no one may be savedby obedience to the law of Moses alone without faith in Christ as true God and the only Savior ofhumankind (see Rom 3:28; Gal 2:16).

5.Muslims and others who lack faith in Jesus Christ, God and man, even monotheists, cannot giveto God the same adoration as Christians do, that is to say, supernatural worship in Spirit and in Truth (see Jn 4:24; Eph 2:8) of those who have received the Spirit of filial adoption (see Rom8:15).

6.Spiritualities and religions that promote any kind of idolatry or pantheism cannot be consideredeither as “seeds” or as “fruits” of the Divine Word, since they are deceptions that preclude theevangelization and eternal salvation of their adherents, as it is taught by Holy Scripture: “the godof this world has made blind the minds of those who have not faith, so that the light of the goodnews of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, might not be shining on them” (2 Cor 4:4).

7.True ecumenism intends that non-Catholics should enter that unity which the Catholic Churchalready indestructibly possesses in virtue of the prayer of Christ, always heard by His Father, “thatthey may be one” (John 17:11), and which she professes in the Symbol of Faith, “I believe in oneChurch.” Ecumenism, therefore, may not legitimately have for its goal the establishment of a Church that does not yet exist.

8.Hell exists and those who are condemned to hell for any unrepented mortal sin are eternallypunished there by Divine justice (see Mt 25:46). Not only fallen angels but also human souls are damned eternally (see 2 Thess 1:9; 2 Pet 3:7). Eternally damned human beings will not be annihilated, since their souls are immortal according to the infallible teaching of the Church (seeFifth Lateran Council, sess. 8).

9.The religion born of faith in Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Son of God and the only Savior of humankind, is the only religion positively willed by God. The opinion is, therefore, wrong thatsays that just as God positively wills the diversity of the male and female sexes and the diversityof nations, so in the same way he also wills the diversity of religions.

10.“Our[Christian] religion effectively establishes with God an authentic and living relationshipwhich the other religions do not succeed in doing, even though they have, as it were, their armsstretched out towards heaven” (Paul VI, Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii nuntiandi, 53).

11.The gift of free will with which God the Creator endowed the human person grants man the naturalright to choose only the good and the true. No human person has, therefore, a natural right to

offend God in choosing the moral evil of sin, the religious error of idolatry, blasphemy, or a falsereligion.

The Law of God

12.A justified person has the sufficient strength with God’s grace to carry out the objective demandsof the Divine law, since all of the commandments of God are possible for the justified. God’sgrace, when it justifies the sinner, does of its nature produce conversion from all serious sin (seeCouncil of Trent, sess. 6,Decree on Justification, c. 11; c. 13).

13.“The faithful are obliged to acknowledge and respect the specific moral precepts declared andtaught by the Church in the name of God, the Creator and Lord. Love of God and of one’sneighbor cannot be separated from the observance of the commandments of the Covenant renewedin the blood of Jesus Christ and in the gift of the Spirit” (John Paul II, EncyclicalVeritatissplendor, 76). According to the teaching of the same Encyclical the opinion of those is wrong,who “believe they can justify, as morally good, deliberate choices of kinds of behavior contraryto the commandments of the Divine and natural law.” Thus, “these theories cannot claim to be grounded in the Catholic moral tradition” (ibid.).

14.All of the commandments of God are equally just and merciful. The opinion is, therefore, wrongthat says that a person is able, by obeying a Divine prohibition - for example, the sixthcommandment not to commit adultery - to sin against God by this act of obedience, or to morallyharm himself, or to sin against another.

15.“No circumstance, no purpose, no law whatsoever can ever make licit an act which is intrinsicallyillicit, since it is contrary to the Law of God, which is written in every human heart, knowable byreason itself, and proclaimed by the Church” (John Paul II, EncyclicalEvangelium,vitae, 62). There are moral principles and moral truths contained in Divine revelation and in the natural lawwhich include negative prohibitions that absolutely forbid certain kinds of action, inasmuch as these kinds of action are always gravely unlawful on account of their object. Hence, the opinion is wrong that says that a good intention or a good consequence is or can ever be sufficient to justifythe commission of such kinds of action (see Council of Trent, sess. 6 de iustificatione, c. 15; JohnPaul II, Apostolic Exhortation, Reconciliatio et Paenitentia, 17; EncyclicalVeritatis Splendor, 80).

16.A woman who has conceived a child within her womb is forbidden by natural and Divine law to kill this human life within her, by herself or by others, whether directly or indirectly (see JohnPaul II, EncyclicalEvangelium Vitae, 62).

17.Procedures which cause conception to happen outside of the womb “are morally unacceptable,since they separate procreation from the fully human context of the conjugal act” (John Paul II, EncyclicalEvangelium Vitae, 14).

18.No human being may ever be morally justified to kill himself or to cause himself to be put to deathby others, even if the intention is to escape suffering. “Euthanasia is a grave violation of the lawof God, since it is the deliberate and morally unacceptable killing of a human person. This doctrineis based upon the natural law and upon the written word of God, is transmitted by the Church'sTradition and taught by the ordinary and universal Magisterium” (John Paul II, EncyclicalEvangelium Vitae, 65).

19.Marriage is by Divine ordinance and natural law an indissoluble union of one man and of onewoman (see Gen 2:24; Mk 10:7-9; Eph 5:31-32). “By their very nature, the institution of matrimony itself and conjugal love are ordained for the procreation and education of children, andfind in them their ultimate crown” (Second Vatican Council, Gaudium et spes, 48).

20.By natural and Divine law no human being may voluntarily and without sin exercise his sexualpowers outside of a valid marriage. It is, therefore, contrary to Holy Scripture and Tradition to affirm that conscience can truly and rightly judge that sexual acts between persons who havecontracted a civil marriage with each other, can sometimes be morally right or requested or evencommanded by God, although one or both persons is sacramentally married to another person (see 1 Cor 7: 11; John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris consortio, 84).

21.Natural and Divine law prohibits “any action which either before, at the moment of, or after sexualintercourse, is specifically intended to prevent procreation—whether as an end or as a means”(Paul VI, EncyclicalHumanae Vitae, 14).

22.Anyone, husband or wife, who has obtained a civil divorce from the spouse to whom he or she is validly married, and has contracted a civil marriage with some other person during the lifetime of his legitimate spouse, and who lives in a marital way with the civil partner, and who chooses to remain in this state with full knowledge of the nature of the act and with full consent of the will to that act, is in a state of mortal sin and therefore can not receive sanctifying grace and grow in charity. Therefore, these Christians, unless they are living as “brother and sister,” cannot receiveHoly Communion (see John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris consortio, 84).

23.Two persons of the same sex sin gravely when they seek venereal pleasure from each other (see Lev 18:22; Lev 20:13; Rom 1:24-28; 1 Cor 6:9-10; 1 Tim 1:10; Jude 7). Homosexual acts “underno circumstances can beapproved” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2357). Hence, the opinion is contrary to natural law and Divine Revelation that says that, as God the Creator has given to some humans a natural disposition to feel sexual desire for persons of the opposite sex, so also He has given to others a natural disposition to feel sexual desire for persons of the same sex, and thatGod intends that the latter disposition be acted on in some circumstances.

24.Human law, or any human power whatsoever, cannot give to two persons of the same sex the rightto marry one another or declare two such persons to be married, since this is contrary to naturaland Divine law. “In the Creator's plan, sexual complementarity and fruitfulness belong to the verynature of marriage” (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith,Considerations regarding proposals to give legal recognition to unions between homosexual persons, June 3, 2003, 3).

25.Unions that have the name of marriage without the reality of it, being contrary to natural andDivine law, are not capable of receiving the blessing of the Church.

26.The civil power may not establish civil or legal unions between two persons of the same sex thatplainly imitate the union of marriage, even if such unions do not receive the name of marriage,since such unions would encourage grave sin for the individuals who are in them and would be a cause of grave scandal for others (see Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith,Considerationsregarding proposals to give legal recognition to unions between homosexual persons, June 3, 2003, 11).

27.The male and female sexes, man and woman, are biological realities created by the wise will of God (see Gen. 1: 27;Catechism of the Catholic Church, 369). It is, therefore, a rebellion againstnatural and Divine law and a grave sin that a man may attempt to become a woman by mutilatinghimself, or even by simply declaring himself to be such, or that a woman may in like mannerattempt to become a man, or to hold that the civil authority has the duty or the right to act as if such things were or may be possible and legitimate (see Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2297).

28.In accordance with Holy Scripture and the constant tradition of the ordinary and universalMagisterium, the Church did not err in teaching that the civil power may lawfully exercise capitalpunishment on malefactors where this is truly necessary to preserve the existence or just order of societies (see Gen 9:6; John 19:11; Rom 13:1-7; Innocent III,Professio fidei Waldensibuspraescripta;Roman Catechism of the Council of Trent, p. III, 5, n. 4; Pius XII,Address to Catholicjurists on December 5, 1954).

29.All authority on earth as well as in heaven belongs to Jesus Christ; therefore, civil societies andall other associations of men are subject to his kingship so that “the duty of offering God genuineworship concerns man both individually and socially” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2105;see Pius XI, EncyclicalQuas primas, 18-19; 32). The Sacraments

30.In the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist, a wonderful change takes place, namely of the wholesubstance of bread into the body of Christ and the whole substance of wine into His blood, a change which the Catholic Church very fittingly calls transubstantiation (see Fourth LateranCouncil, c. 1; Council of Trent, sess. 13, c. 4). “Every theological explanation which seeks someunderstanding of this mystery must, in order to be in accord with Catholic faith, maintain that in the reality itself, independently of our mind, the bread and wine have ceased to exist after theConsecration, so that it is the adorable Body and Blood of the Lord Jesus that from then on arereally before us under the sacramental species of bread and wine”(Paul VI, Apostolic letterSolemni hac liturgia (Credo of the People of God), 25).

31.The formulations by which the Council of Trent expressed the Church’s faith in the Holy Eucharistare suitable for men of all times and places, since they are a “perennially valid teaching of theChurch” (John Paul II, EncyclicalEcclesia de Eucharistia, 15).

32.In the Holy Mass, a true and proper sacrifice is offered to the Blessed Trinity and this sacrifice is propitiatory both for men living on earth and for the souls in Purgatory. The opinion is, therefore,wrong that says that the sacrifice of the Mass consists simply in the fact that the people make a spiritual sacrifice of prayers and praises, as well as the opinion that the Mass may or should be defined only as Christ giving Himself to the faithful as their spiritual food (see Council of Trent,sess. 22, c. 2).

33.“The Mass, celebrated by the priest representing the person of Christ by virtue of the powerreceived through the Sacrament of Orders and offered by him in the name of Christ and themembers of His Mystical Body, is the sacrifice of Calvary rendered sacramentally present on ouraltars. We believe that as the bread and wine consecrated by the Lord at the Last Supper werechanged into His body and His blood which were to be offered for us on the cross, likewise thebread and wine consecrated by the priest are changed into the body and blood of Christ enthronedgloriously in heaven, and we believe that the mysterious presence of the Lord, under whatcontinues to appear to our senses as before, is a true, real and substantial presence”(Paul VI,Apostolic letterSolemni hac liturgia (Credo of the People of God), 24).

34.“The unbloody immolation at the words of consecration, when Christ is made present upon thealtar in the state of a victim, is performed by the priest and by him alone, as the representative of Christ and not as the representative of the faithful. (...) The faithful offer the sacrifice by the handsof the priest from the fact that the minister at the altar, in offering a sacrifice in the name of all Hismembers, represents Christ, the Head of the Mystical Body. The conclusion, however, that thepeople offer the sacrifice with the priest himself is not based on the fact that, being members of the Church no less than the priest himself, they perform a visible liturgical rite; for this is theprivilege only of the minister who has been Divinely appointed to this office: rather it is based on the fact that the people unite their hearts in praise, impetration, expiation and thanksgiving withprayers or intention of the priest, even of the High Priest himself, so that in the one and same offering of the victim and according to a visible sacerdotal rite, they may be presented to God theFather” (Pius XII, EncyclicalMediator Dei, 92).

35.The sacrament of Penance is the only ordinary means by which grave sins committed after Baptism may be remitted, and by Divine law all such sins must be confessed by number and by species(see Council of Trent, sess. 14, can. 7).

36.By Divine law the confessor may not violate the seal of the sacrament of Penance for any reasonwhatsoever; no ecclesiastical authority has the power to dispense him from the seal of thesacrament and the civil power is wholly incompetent to oblige him to do so (seeCode of CanonLaw 1983, can. 1388 § 1;Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1467).

37.By virtue of the will of Christ and the unchangeable Tradition of the Church, the sacrament of theHoly Eucharist may not be given to those who are in a public state of objectively grave sin, andsacramental absolution may not be given to those who express their unwillingness to conform to Divine law, even if their unwillingness pertains only to a single grave matter (see Council of Trent,sess. 14, c. 4; Pope John Paul II, Message to theMajor Penitentiary Cardinal William W.Baum, on March 22, 1996).

38.According to the constant Tradition of the Church, the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist may notbe given to those who deny any truth of the Catholic faith by formally professing their adherenceto a heretical or to an officially schismatic Christian community (seeCode of Canon Law 1983, can. 915; 1364).

39.The law by which priests are bound to observe perfect continence in celibacy stems from theexample of Jesus Christ and belongs to immemorial and apostolic tradition according to theconstant witness of the Fathers of the Church and of the Roman Pontiffs. For this reason, this lawshould not be abolished in the Roman Church through the innovation of an optional priestlycelibacy, either at the regional or the universal level. The perennial valid witness of the Churchstates that the law of priestly continence “does not command new precepts; these precepts should be observed, because they have been neglected on the part of some through ignorance and sloth. These precepts, nevertheless, go back to the apostles and were established by the Fathers, as it is written, ‘Stand firm, then, brothers and keep the traditions that we taught you, whether by wordof mouth or by letter’ (2 Thess. 2:15). There are in fact many who, ignoring the statutes of ourforefathers, have violated the chastity of the Church by their presumption and have followed thewill of the people, not fearing the judgment of God”( Pope Siricius, DecretalCum in unum in theyear 386).

40.By the will of Christ and the Divine constitution of the Church, only baptized men (viri) mayreceive the sacrament of Orders, whether in the episcopacy, the priesthood, or the diaconate (see John Paul II Apostolic Letter,Ordinatio Sacerdotalis, 4). Furthermore, the assertion is wrong thatsays that only an Ecumenical Council can define this matter, because the teaching authority of anEcumenical Council is not more extensive than that of the Roman Pontiff (see Fifth LateranCouncil, sess. 11; First Vatican Council, sess. 4, c. 3, n. 8).

May 31, 2019

Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke, Patron of the Sovereign Military Order of Malta

Cardinal Janis Pujats, Archbishop emeritus of Riga

Tomash Peta, Archbishop of the archdiocese of Saint Mary in AstanaJan Pawel Lenga, Archbishop-Bishop emeritus of Karaganda

Athanasius Schneider, Auxiliary Bishop of the archdiocese of Saint Mary in Astana

"Toleranz", so wie sie heute größtenteils verstanden und angewandt wird, ist nichts anderes als egoistische und rücksichtslose Gleichgültigkeit, die im scheinheiligen Anstrich daher kommt.

Wenn man aus dem 2. Vatikanischen Konzil eine Lehre ziehen kann, dann die: das Gegenteil von "gut" ist "gut gemeint". Das "aggiornamento" - der "frische Wind", der in die Kirche wehen und sie "zeitgemäßer" machen sollte - ist schwer nach hinten losgegangen.

Dennoch profitieren gerade hier in Deutschland viele Berufskatholiken (noch) von diesem System. Anstatt die Zeichen der Zeit zu sehen und die Notbremse für jeglichen Liberalismus und Modernismus zu ziehen, wird noch mehr davon gefordert.

Was dieses "noch mehr davon" bedeuten kann, sehen wir momentan bei der Evangelischen Kirche. Trotz (bzw. WEGEN) des Zölibats und der immer liberaleren (und immer weniger christlichen) Grundhaltung laufen die Menschen in Scharen davon.

In der Katholischen Kirche kann ich nur jeden aufrechten Priester, Bischof und Laien auffordern aufzustehen und zu kämpfen. Wir dürfen die Kirche nicht denen überlassen, die drauf und dran sind, sie völlig zugrunde zu richten!

"Every saint has a past...... and every sinner has a future." - St. Augustine

Before the age of 2, Helen Keller was stricken with a disease (the doctors don't agree as to what it was) that left her permanently blind and deaf. If you've not seen it, the movie The Miracle Worker, with Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke, is an excellent story of the beginning of her story. Today's attached devotional will reveal the secret of how she became one of the most celebrated women in the world! God bless you!

Because of Calvary,

John J.

“If I regarded my life from the point of view of the pessimist, I should be undone. Ishould seek in vain for the light that does not visit my eyes and the mastic that does notring in my ears. I should beg might and day and never be satisfied. I should sit apart inawful solitude, a prey to fear and despair. But since I consider it a duty to myself and toothers to be happy, I escape a misery worse than any physical deprivation.” [Helen Kellerin Don’t Forget to Sing in the Lifeboats and 366 Other Bits of Uncommon Wisdom forUncommon Times compiled by Kathryn & Ross Petras, (New York: WorkmanPublishing, 2009), p. 190]

Not from gay to straight, but from lost to saved!

Werben wir für "Konversionstherapien"?

Wir sind eine Seelsorge-Organisation, also bieten wir keine Therapien an noch werben wir für solche.

Wir treten jedoch für das Recht eines jeden Menschen ein, Informationen zu erhalten. Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, deren Angehörige und Freunde sowie allgemein Interessierte sollten alles zu diesem Thema erfahren, was es aktuell gibt. Nur wer eine Angelegenheit aus verschiedenen Perspektiven betrachtet, kann ein vernünftiges Urteil fällen. Vor allem kann er/sie das Urteil dann frei fällen - und bekommt dafür notwendige Informationen nicht vorenthalten.

Wir sind allerdings nicht dafür verantwortlich, was andere denken. Wir können niemanden davon abhalten, dies als "Werbung" für eine "Konversionstherapie" zu betrachten, auch wenn dies nicht unsere Absicht ist.

Abgesehen davon kennen wir nicht mal jemanden im deutschsprachigen Raum, der eine derartige Therapie durchführt...

Uns geht es NICHT darum, aus Schwulen Heteros zu machen. Wir wollen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, die diese nicht ausleben möchten, bei der Entwicklung eines alternativen Lebensentwurfs beistehen. Wie der aussieht, bestimmen alleine unsere Kunden.

Abgesehen davon begleiten wir auch Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, die diese ausleben möchten - in einer Partnerschaft oder in welcher Art und Weise auch immer.

Viele Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen haben Probleme mit ihrem Selbstwert.

Wir sind nicht etwa etwas wert, weil wir positive Sachen tun, viele Menschen kennen und von ihnen wertgeschätzt werden, einen tollen Job, Geld und materiellen Besitz haben, uns als gesellschaftlich nützlicher Mensch erweisen oder im Leben etwas geleistet haben.

Nein, wir haben Wert und Würde alleine aufgrund der Tatsache, dass wir Mensch sind!

Die Christinnen und Christen unter uns werden dies noch ergänzen mit der Feststellung, dass sie geliebte Kinder Gottes sind!

Alles (!) andere hat nichts - aber auch gar nichts - mit unserem Selbstwert zu tun und kann und wird uns nur Probleme bereiten, da wir mit dem Wegfall desselben auch unseren Selbstwert verlieren.

Selbstwert kann nicht von außen kommen. Er muss dir innewohnen.

Points to ponder for "Ex-Gay Ministries":

The goal of whatever services or programs you offer can never be to become and remain sexually pure. Not to do something must never be a goal. Why? Because our brain cannot NOT process information. If you keep on telling someone not to have sex, not to look at porn etc., his or her brain will focus on sex and porn (example: If I tell you "Do not think of a rose elephant! Do not think of a rose elephant! Do not think of a rose elephant! - what are you thinking of? A rose elephant, even if you haven't thought of one for all of your life!) Sexual purity can at best be a means to a goal, but never a goal in and of itself. As a Christian, my goal is to be holy, to become more like Jesus. and follow Him. The non-Christians among us must define their own goal, which has to be specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable, time bound ("SMART") and positive.

You do not measure "success" in your programs by the number of participants who do not have sex, or who marry or whatever else in that direction. Just imagine measuring success for a Christian by not sinning anymore. The success rate would be zero.

Be family. When someone falls, help him or her up again, find out why it happened and help him or her to stand more stable from now on. Don't brag with statements like "I have never had sex for 20 years!". That might even be true, but I am sure you sinned in different ways. So nothing to boast of.

Stop making a living out of "being ex-gay" through preaching to the choir (traveling from church to church and talking to those who already share your opinion while charging a honorarium for it or writing books that you sell to exactly those believers). Jesus told us to go OUT. To pass His love and truth on to those who have never experienced it. Don't found a ministry and wait who will be coming. Those you want to reach will not be reached by that. They will most likely never even hear from it, and if they do the information will be filtered through other people who reject you.

For a while I was honored to serve as a volunteer in a local jail. The inmates there can smell a mile away what your true motivation is for visiting them. Are you really interested in them as persons and human beings - or do you simply want to raise your number of converts and knock the "visiting prisoners" part off your Christian to-do-list?

If you keep on giving testimony on how you "found freedom", if your whole life focuses only on "being an ex-gay" and if you are even financially dependent on that aspect of your life, chances are high you will never really find freedom as you keep on living in the past and stiring old things up.

Be open for gays and ex-gays. Your counselees alone decide upon the goal they want to reach. If someone decides to "stay gay" and needs your help in a certain issue, be there for him/her just the same. Our love needs to be unconditional.

When have we shown love to gay and lesbian people for the last time? Why not meeting with them, having a cup of coffee, becoming friends with some of them? Sometimes we only see the sin part in them. As if we are pure and do not sin. An example: A very dear friend of mine has been taking care of his severyl handicapped male partner for about 15 years now. They stopped having sex a long time ago as it is physically hardly possible anymore. He takes care of his partner 24/7 - he washes him, takes him to the bathroom, organizes his life, does the household and much more. The Christian knee-jerk reaction of some might be now to claim that as they do not have sex anymore all is fine. That is condescending, unloving and actually very un-Christian. This man shows love to his partner in a way that few people who claim themselves "Christian" do.

Stop talking about gays and lesbians as if they were only sick and pervert people that will go to hell anyway. Yes, the number of sexually transmitted diseases is much higher among them than among the rest of the peopulation. Yes, the average partnership lasts not as long as the average heterosexual one and is much less monogamous. Yes, sex is usually much more "creative" than that of heterosexual couples. But, that does in no way mean we should look down on them and think we know everything better. That we may stand on our podium and psychologically analyse them (while never having really met them and/or having no psychological training ourselves). Yes, there is a reason why people are doing what they are doing. If we want to be of any help we need to show genuine interest and love them like Christ would. Yes, at Christians we should point people to the Good News by our words and deeds but in the end it is God alone who decides who will go to heaven or hell. There are around 40.000 Christian denominations so far with totally different beliefs. We can't even agree on the basics. So none of us should ever claim to know everything and have it all together. Pride is the root of all evil - which applies to us as well.

As Christians, the basic rules to go by are to love God and others like ourselves. To go out and make disciples. All other rules and laws flow out of these. Yes, Christian love is more than a passing feeling. It is a covenant thing. A decision of the will. It implies humbleness, being unconditional, courage, self-sacrifice. It does not imply pride - on neither side.

December 2019

Robert Gollwitzer

Gays vs. Ex-Gays

Points to ponder for gays regarding their attitude towards ex-gays

Most gay people have never heard of ex-gays. Those who did usually have a very negative view of them. Ex-Gays are supposed to deny their sexuality (thereby becoming mentally ill), they are backwards oriented, old-school, radical, fundamental in their Christian faith, homophobic, haters and most of all adherents of "conversion therapies". So let's go into that.

Do ex-gays deny their sexuality? No, not at all. They use their sexual energy simply another way, like by letting their gifts and talents blossom, by becoming active and creative and by not letting their whole life turn around "being gay". You can just as well turn the argument around: People who think that you need to have sex in order not to deny your sexuality have a very disturbed view on and relationship towards it.

Are ex-gays becoming mentally ill because they "deny" their sexuality? This argument usually is brought up by people who do not have the slightest training in psychology and/or psychiatry. A mental disorder usually takes a whole bunch of different factors to develop. Hardly ever it is a single one. Mental disordders should also never be used to further a political position.

Again, you can just as well turn the argument around: Does not in many cases an excessive gay life play a major part in developping mental disorders and physical diseases (like through attracting and passing on of sexually transmitted diseases)?

Are ex-gays backwards oriented, old-school, radical, fundamental in their Christian faith, homophobic, and haters? All of that uses the same dirty propaganda technique (that sometimes reminds me of the Nazis by the way): You just have to repeat a lie often enough so people will believe it in the end. If you do not have good arguments, you put the "adversary" in a radical corner and make him look like a fanatic criminal with (again) mental problems. That makes you look pure and good and the other one dirty and evil. Hardly anybody though is purely good or purely bad just as well as hardly any motivation is by the way. Why not just sit down and listen - really listen! - to each other, without coming up with knee-jerk reactions at once? Why not grant the other side the right to have a rationally well-founded argument? Why not accept the fact that the other side could also be right or that they could at least have a valid alternative?

Could it be that sometimes we need the other side to look bad because we cannot accept the fact that they could have a point there? Because that would ruin our whole system of argumentation?

Ex-Gays can hardly be homophobic haters as they have same-sex attractions themselves. That "argument" actually reveals more about the person that uses it than about the one being attacked.

No ex-gay I know has ever supported conversion therapies. Gay-friendly politicians know that and still push anti-conversion-therapy legistlation just the same - in order to wipe off the surface of the earth all opposition against gay points of view. However, we want science and research to be independent. Even gay activists use the argument of "sexual fluidity" sometimes (they have to, else they could not make a point for being transgender). Given the fact that many factors contribute to the development of human sexuality and taken into account modern research on epigenetics we all have to adapt our positions on a regular basis, even if it hurts and does not fit our world view.

Why not see our common same-sex attractions as a common foundation and work together instead of against one another? Why can't gay counselors accept an ex-gay belief system and help the person leave a gay life if she or he wants that? Or the other way around?

I am just naive enough to believe that this can be done.

Munich, december 2019

Robert Gollwitzer

As long as gays and ex-gays react with pre-formulated knee-jerk accusations and prejudices to arguments of the "other side" (without even listening to them!), none of us will ever get one step further. By doing so, all we do is shame ourselves. We automatically seem to assume that our "opponent" is our worst enemy and only has the ugliest motivation for what he or she is doing or saying - whereas we claim to have only pure reasons. Probably none of both is true in its absolute statement. Actually if you really look at it, we are brothers and sisters and have so much common ground! Is that why we seem to hate one another so much?

We always get to hear about "conversion therapy". I have been with ex-gays for 16 years now and dealt with a great number of them in several countries around the globe. How come I have never met a single one who has undergone this kind of therapy or even knows one who did? This whole thing looks more and more like a myth to me.

Robert

Here some experiences and observations I've made during my many years in, with and around the (male) gay scene - and some conclusions I've drawn:

Impulsive behavior seems to be rampant. If men want sex, they are going to get it NOW.

In order to get the sex partners, moral restrictions are often low. It does not matter if he is a married family father (that seems to be even more attractive), if he has a partner or whatever else.

Gay bars and gay dating sites seem to be nothing more than "meat markets".

Self-destructive behavior (like sex withouth protection or with many partners, even in Corona times or extreme sexual practices) and drug abuse seem to be higher than in the rest of the population.

There is no solidarity in the gay scene. It seems to be all about "me, myself and I".

It all seems to turn around "being happpy" (with "happiness" being a feeling than comes and goes rather than a wilful life-decision) - and yet so many of them seem to be deeply sad on the inside.

Rob

Wenn ein schwules Leben so schön und toll - und vor allem auch nicht anders als ein heterosexuelles - ist, warum haben dann so viele Männer, die Sex mit Männern haben, ansteckende Geschlechtskrankheiten mit teils tragischen Folgen? Warum gleichen sich die Lebensläufe von vielen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen in etlichen Punkten (keine emotionale Bindung zum gleichgeschlechtlichen Elternteil, körperlicher/verbaler/psychischer/sexueller Missbrauch)? Warum sind schwule Beziehungen (besonders bei Männern) weitaus weniger monogam und weitaus kurzlebiger als heterosexuelle Bindungen? Warum ist der Sex vor allem bei schwulen Männern im Durchschnitt weitaus extremer als bei heterosexuellen - mit teilweise physischen oder psychischen Folgeschäden? Warum scheinen psychische Störungen bei Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen weitaus häufiger vorzukommen? Warum ist der Drogenmissbrauch in der schwulen Szene so hoch?

Alles Faktoren, die in der Regel nicht einfach auf die Gesellschaft geschoben werden können, sondern zumindest teilweise auch im Verantwortungsbereich der Einzelnen liegen...

"Frei von Homosexualität zu sein" bedeutet für uns keineswegs, keine gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen zu haben. Spirituell gesehen heißt es, frei von der Macht der Sünde zu sein. Für den individuellen Menschen bedeutet es, sich nicht von sexuellen Neigungen vorschreiben zu lassen, welches Leben man/frau führt. Jeder Mann und jede Frau haben das Recht, frei darüber zu entscheiden, ob sie ihre Neigungen ausleben wollen oder nicht. Wie ihre Entscheidung auch ausfällt - wir werden sie respektieren.

Unser Ziel ist nicht die "Heterosexualität", sondern Jesus Christus nachzufolgen!

Artikel, Videos oder sonstige Beiträge über Therapieformen dienen nicht der Werbung für solche Dienstleistungen, sondern alleine Informationszwecken.

Wir machen keinerlei Therapien, wir empfehlen insbesondere keine Konversionstherapien und werben auch nicht für eine Teilnahme an einer derartigen Therapie noch vermitteln wir eine solche.

We offer no therapy whatsoever. Especially we do not recommend conversion therapies nor do we make any publicity for them.

Press Release:

Yesterday German Parliament approved of an "anti-conversion therapy law". Christian and Social Democrats and the Liberals voted in favor of it. The Left, the Green Party and the right-wing AfD abstained. Only one (!) of the AfD had the guts to oppose.

This law will probably come into effect mid-2020. "Medical interventions" aimed to change or suppress self-perceived identity are forbidden when it comes to minors. They may only be applied to adults with their free consent. Acting against that law may lead to jail time (up to one year) or a fincancial fine.

Also public publicity for conversion therapies (in case of minars also non-public), offering such activities or mediating conversion therapies will then be outlawed. Excluded are pastoral care or psychotherapeutic conversations dealing with the life situation of the client, religious commandments or conversations on dealing with one's sexual orientation.

When discussing this law in Parliament, all political parties opposed of conversion therapies - "where there is no disease, there is no need for therapy".
Such therapies allegedly cause physical and mental damage like depression or suicidal thoughts. Conversion therapies are said to focus on the therapist's views and not the well-being of the client.

Only the AfD-member Robby Schlund pointed out that there is no legal security for therapists treating clients who have problems with finding their sexual identity.

All political parties, all churches and the vast majority of the public have fallen for gay propaganda - without even thinking twice.

This law has no groundings whatsoever. Apart from (maybe!) some individuals there is no substantial "threat" of conversion therapies. This alleged "danger" seems to be a pretext for something much more hidden: Silencing all opposition to gay ideology. Yes, gays will claim now religious views are not part of that law and neither is pastoral care, but the threat of punishment is real - and will have lasting effects.

Why? Take outlawing "publicity for conversion therapies". What is that supposed to mean? If I give testimony in front of a church congregation sharing how a Christian organization helped me find freedom from same-sex attractions, does this already count as "publicity"? Even if it doesn't - the mere threat will be enough to shut most people up.

Many among us have lived for years in the gay scene. We made our experiences. Based on that, we can say that during that time many of our beloved gay friends died or fell mentally or physically ill also due to their many sex contacts (no, a condom does not protect you against all STDs!) and/or the drugs that went along to get a greater kick out of it.

Here in Germany we have the "Robert Koch Institut" that tracks the number of people with STDs and the high percentage of MSM (men who have sex with men) among them.

Many are sick or have even died due to their gay life - and yet you claim conversion therapies cause physical or mental damage or suicides? Taske suicides: This is a complicated problem with many contributing factors. To say one factor only is to blame means using a tragedy to further your personal political agenda.

Here we touch another topic: Science obviously has stopped being objective and become a target for political activism. What cannot be, must not be. Using commonplaces like "no disease/no therapy" shows how little understanding some seem to have. Using terms like "disease", "therapy", "natural", "normal" without going deeper into their definition only shows you use them for propaganda purposes.

Is there change? Many factors take part when it comes to the development of human sexuality. A good part of it still is not reasearched yet. Let's only look at some:

Genes: to say that one gene causes someone to "be gay" and for that reason it is "normal", "natural" and "morally right" is not science. Epigenetics tells us it is the environment which decides which genes are activated, which are deactivated and which genes or changes thereof will maybe even formed anew. Aside, to add moral statements to scientific foundings is inacceptable.

We are not slaves of a genetic code either and will not fall sick or die of we choose not to live out our same-sex attractions.

Same-sex parent: How come so many people with same-sex attractions (especially men) had problems in building a bond with their same-sex parent? In many cases this parent was either emotionally not accessible or not there altogether - leading to the inability of identifying with ones own sex (through the mediation of the same-sex parent). Later in life with upcoming puberty we are attracted by what we perceive as being "other". If we were unable to find our way to our own sex, we will be attracted by what we see as "other" - in case of men that means other, mostly "masculine" men that are supposed to fulfill our need for identity.

Early exposure: If you expose youth with sexual "alternatives" all the time telling them how great that is, they will most likely try them out. As their sexual development is not finished yet, that could lead to a totally different life!

So what, some may object. Well, that does not matter if you buy gay propaganda that gay sex and gay relationships are like any other heterosexual one.

No, they are not. Based on our experiences we can say that the average gay sex is a lot (!) more extreme that the average heterosexual one and that gay relationships are a lot less lasting than heterosexual ones and often include other sex partners. Oftentimes the same-sex partner is obviously subconsciously abused of in order to fulfill ones social, emotional or sexual needs - hereby becoming exchangeable.

When it comes to sex practices among gay men, almost everything seems to go according to our experience. It can be very violent including S/M practices, even fecies and physically and mentally damaging things. No, not every homosexual act is like that, but certainly much more than in heterosexual relationships. A lasting relationship needs two strong and stable partners who stand firm and know their place in life and their identity. Many of us made the experience that in gay relationships one part (mostly unvoluntarily) becomes the dominant one and the other one clings to him in a sometimes emotionally dependent way.

We had enough and turned to the Church for help. Unfortunately, in many cases there was none. Quite on the contrary - we were told to "live it out".

Now many among us used sex to numb past hurts or unmet legitimate needs. To tell us to "just go for it" is very bad theology and psychology. It does not help at all.

Luckily we found people that did help us. Unlike gay activists are saying, none of us had negative physical or mental consequences for choosing another lif than the gay one. For many of us it meant that our lives became a lot better in many areas. We do not suppress our same-sex feelings, we use our sexual energies in much more creative ways now!

We want to be able to find the therapy with the goal we (!) choose! We want to help our children in other ways than the gay activists suggest!

You are telling us that if a man (even a boy?) says he is a woman trapped in a man's body he may get surgery and medication - hereby breaking the hippocratic oath by physically mutilating a healthy body - you call that acceptable therapy? Like that you treat inner problems by cutting off something or adding to the body?? But if a boy says he has same-sex and heterosexual feelings and rather wants to live out his heterosexual ones and needs therapeutic help for that, this is allegedly damaging and bad for the boy? You claim that there is no set sex, but a "gender" that everyone can define and change according to his/her preferences?

We made the experience (and some scientists seem to back that) that there is some fluidity in human sexuality. Taken the above example, we cannot understand how science seem to be forbidden in that area.

We have never offered therapy and never will. We offer pastoral care and Christian counseling.

However, we hold on to our Christian faith and are shocked to see how few "people of God" still seem to have the courage to do that. Some seem to rather want to change clear biblical statements so they fit their own views instead of letting the Bible change them.

Yet in all we trust in God and will continue to do so.

Munich, May 8th 2020,

Robert Gollwitzer

www.homosexuals-anonymous.com

www.jason-international.org

www.misererenobis.org

www.gaysandexgays.org

www.katholisch-leben.org

"Ungewollte gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen"?

In der Tat ist dieser Begriff etwas veraltet und überholt, wenn auch nicht komplett verkehrt.

Ja, wir stehen Menschen seelsorgerisch zur Seite, die Schwierigkeiten mit ihren gleichgeschglechtlichen Neigungen haben. Unser Ziel ist dabei jedoch nicht, diese Neigungen in heterosexuelle Empfingungen "umzuwandeln". Ganz im Gegenteil: Wir finden nichts Anstößiges oder Inakzeptables dabei, wenn sich jemand sexuell und/oder emotional zum selben Geschlecht hingezogen fühlt. Er/sie hat sich diese Empfindungen schließlich nicht ausgesucht. Wir respektieren jedoch, dass es Menschen gibt, die - aus welchen Gründen auch immer - diese Neigungen nicht ausleben möchten und ein Leben jenseits der schwulen Szene suchen. Es steht uns nicht zu, dies zu kritisieren oder zu be- oder gar verurteilen.

"Unwanted Same-Sex Attractions"?

Indeed this term is somewhat outdated, yet not completely wrong.

Yes, we offer pastoral care to those who have problems with their same-sex attractions. However, our goal hereby is not to "change" those same-sex attractions into heterosexual ones. On the contrary: We do not see it as inacceptable if someone is sexually and/or emotionally attracted to the same sex. He/she did not choose to have those attractions. We do respect though that there are people who - for whatever reasons - do not wish to act upon these attractions. People that seek a life beyond the gay scene. We do not have the right to judge that.

Gepostet von Homosexuals Anonymous am Mittwoch, 21. Oktober 2020

You still keep on falling! You're all fake and denying yourselves! That whole ex-gay thing is one big lie!

There is a huge logic mistake in that accusation: if you fall (i.e. if you have sex with a same-sex partner), you are fake and your goal must be wrong and morally inacceptable.

Here a comparison: Many of us are Christians. Yet we keep on sinning. Are we therefore "fake" because of that or is our ideal of following and becoming more like Jesus wrong? That is absurd.

We have goals and a value system we believe in. This is what we live by and this is what we aim for. If we fall, we will get up again. That is neither "fake" nor does it mean we "deny ourselves". It simply means we are human beings - broken like the rest of us and yet never willing to give up.

Ihr versagt ja immer wieder! Das ganze Ex-Gay Gehabe ist nur fake und ihr verleugnet euch selbst! Eure "Identität" ist falsch und scheinheilig!

In diesen Vorwürfen steckt ein gewaltiger logischer Denkfehler: Wenn man "versagt" (also etwa Sex mit einem gleichgeschlechtlichen Partner hat), ist man selbst "fake" und das Ziel, auf das man/frau zusteuert, muss falsch und moralisch inakzeptabel sein.

Um es mit einem Vergleich zu verdeutlichen: Viele von uns sind Christinnen und Christen. Dennoch sündigen wir immer wieder. Sind wir also deshalb "fake" und ist unser Ziel, Jesus Christus nachzufolgen, damit falsch? Das ist absurd.

Wir haben Ziele und ein Wertesystem, an das wir glauben. Danach leben wir und das steuern wir an. Wenn wir fallen, stehen wir eben wieder auf. Das ist weder "fake" noch bedeutet es, dass wir uns "verleugnen". Es bedeutet vielmehr, dass wir Menschen sind - und damit gebrochene Seelen. Dennoch werden wir nie aufgeben und weiterhin unser Ideal hochhalten.

Not freedom from homosexuality, but freedom for God !

Nicht Freiheit von Homosexualität, sondern Freiheit für Gott!

Homosexuelle Akte verbieten?

Da war ich immer strikt dagegen. Wenn man all die verschiedenen Faktoren betrachtet, die an der Entwicklung menschlicher Sexualität - insbesondere der Homosexualität - beteiligt sind sowie die legitimen unerfüllten Bedürfnisse und vergangenen Verletzungen, die hinter so mancher sexuellen Aktivität stehen, ist es Unsinn, zu meinen, ein Verbot könnte hier irgendetwas ändern. Im Gegenteil.

Wenn ich mir allerdings ansehe, was auf schwulen Dating Sites - besonders unter Männern - abgeht (und dann natürlich auch "live"), frage ich mich ernsthaft, ob uns nicht jemand vor uns selbst schützen muss. Wenn Männer ihren sexuellen Impulsen fast grenzenlos nachgeben, endet das selten gut...

Prohibit homosexual acts?

I have always been totally against that. If you consider all the different factors that contribute to the development of human sexuality - most of all homosexuality - as well as the legitimate needs and past hurts that stand behind quote a few sexual activities, it is nonsense to think a prohibition could change something here. On the contrary.

However, if I see what is going on on gay dating sites - especially among men (and of course later on also "live") - I ask myself seriously if somebody has to protect us of ourselves. When men yield to their sexual impulses almost without any boundaries, that hardly ever ends well...

"Homosexuality is an attempt to achieve human contact and to break through stark isolation." [Charles Socarides, Homosexuality, p. 159]

We must accept God's will, especially when he says no.
Gepostet von BeautySoAncient.com am Mittwoch, 17. Juni 2020

"Woe unto them who call evil, good, and good, evil!" - Isaiah 5:20
Gepostet von A Modern Day Boaz am Dienstag, 30. Juni 2020

Every saint has a past...... and every sinner has a future. - St. Augustine
Gepostet von David K Foster am Mittwoch, 8. Juli 2020

If we truly repent, he will forgive us.
Gepostet von BeautySoAncient.com am Mittwoch, 27. Mai 2020

Cookie Banner | Dakitec.de

Sexual sublimation, also known as sexual transmutation, is the act, especially among some religious traditions, to transform sexual impulses or "sexual energy" into creative energy. In this context, sublimation is the transference of sexual energy, or libido, into a physical act or a different emotion in order to avoid confrontation with the sexual urge, which is itself contrary to the individual's belief or ascribed religious belief. It is based on the idea that "sexual energy" can be used to create a spiritual nature which in turn can create more sensual works, instead of one's sexuality being unleashed "raw." The classical example in Western religions is clerical celibacy.

As espoused in the Tanya, Hasidic Jewish mysticism views sublimation of the animal soul as an essential task in life, wherein the goal is to transform animalistic and earthy cravings for physical pleasure into holy desires to connect with God.

Different schools of thought describe general sexual urges as carriers of spiritual essence, and have the varied names of vital energy, vital winds (prana), spiritual energy, ojas, shakti, tummo, or kundalini. It is also believed that undergoing sexual sublimation can facilitate a mystical awakening in an individual.

(Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sublimation_(psychology). Oct 21st, 2020).

“Who is going to save our Church? Not our Bishops, not our priests and religious. It is up to the people. You have the minds, the eyes, the ears to save the Church. Your mission is to see that your priests act like priests, your bishops like bishops and your religious act like religious”

Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

Never say "I love you, but..." or "Jesus loves you, but...". That "but" kills everything before. Either you love someone unconditionally or you don't. Ain't no in-between.

Note: The work of Dr. Douglas McIntyre is being shown in part for documentation purposes only. That does NOT mean we embrace all of it or make publicity for its content in its entirety.

Anyone who tells us we can keep sinning with no intent to amend our ways because "God is merciful", is lying. If we...
Gepostet von BeautySoAncient.com am Freitag, 12. Februar 2021

Gepostet von Homosexuals Anonymous am Mittwoch, 21. Oktober 2020

Gepostet von Homosexuals Anonymous am Montag, 9. November 2020

She will never leave Her children alone❤.
Gepostet von Even Demons Fear Mary am Samstag, 14. November 2020

Pfarreien, die die Regenbogenfahne hissen oder auf ihren Homepages zeigen, bekunden damit nicht ihre Liebe zu Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, sondern zur Schwulenbewegung. Das ist ein riesiger Unterschied - das eine ist in Einklang mit dem christlichem Glauben, das andere ist ein politischer Aktivismus, mit dem man sich weit ins Abseits stellt. Das ist im besten Fall naiv, im schlimmsten berechnend. Auf jeden Fall aber bricht man damit mit dem eigenen Glauben und mit der Kirche, der anzugehören man vorgibt.

Robert Gollwitzer

www.misererenobis.org

www.jason-international.org

www.homosexuals-anonymous.com

www.katholisch-leben.org

We know that we are of God, and that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one. — 1 John 5:19
Gepostet von Good Fight Ministries am Donnerstag, 4. März 2021

"Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?" 1 Cor 3:16 NIV

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:8 NIV

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”" Mark 12:30-31 NIV

We've all heard these verses many times and yet so few uóf us have internalized them. To sum them up: God lives in each one of us. God is love. You cannot pass on what you do not exerperience yourself. If you are unaware of that love in you, if you do not therefore love yourself and the one who is in you, you cannot love your neighbor! We need to be kind and good to ourselves and treat mind, body and soul well. This body of ours is where the Lord dwells, so be good to it!

"If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." 1 Cor 13:3 NIV

"Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”" John 11:35-36 NIV

Die hier aufgeführten Informationen ersetzen nicht den Gang zum Arzt oder zur Psychotherapeutin und sind nicht zur Selbstdiagnose oder Selbstbehandlung geeignet. Eine Haftung oder Garantie für ihre Richtigkeit kann nicht übernommen werden.

Miserere Nobis!

Hilfe für Katholikinnen und Katholiken mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen

Schwules Leben

Experiences from a Gay Life